the media nook

Crush It!: Why Now is the Time to Cash in on your Passion by Gary Vaynerchuk

2012-01-20T10:23:00.000-08:00

This post is from my Goodreads feed...

Crush It!: Why Now Is the Time to Cash In on Your Passion by Gary Vaynerchuk
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

If you've never really given any thought to following your passion in the digital age, this book is a great place to start. It's short and clearly written and if you've got the slightest inclination, should really fan the flames to get you out of your chair and into action. If you need more motivation, check out his videos at http://garyvaynerchuk.com/ -- he really loves what he does, is truly excited about the possibilities that are unfolding, and believes that if you have a passion and find your niche, you can Crush It. He also explains what that means.

If, however, like me you've spent more than 20 minutes considering this topic, this book offers nothing new. I was disappointed that I already knew (and am in the midst of doing) almost everything Vaynerchuk suggests. I'm not crushing it yet, but I was already en route before I picked up this book.

View all my reviews

Hobo with a Shotgun (2011) and Machine Girl (2008)

2012-01-07T02:29:00.000-08:00

Where do you go when over the top isn't far enough? I'm not sure, but when you get there, you'll find the team behind the 2011 Canadian grindcore/splatter film, Hobo with a Shotgun.

Trouble starts when a Hobo (Rutger Hauer) gets off the train in a town that is run by a sadistic criminal known as The Drake. He and his sons torture, rape and terrorize the population that seems to consist of: terrified average folks, angry mobs, prostitutes, a large number of homeless, and children who should have long ago been relocated to other towns by family services.

The movie has three acts: the first introduces us to the horror that is this Twilight-Zone worthy town (if Rod Serling had subcontracted to Rob Zombie); the second, is the battle between good and evil (it involves a lot of blood and gore); and the third act is the epic conclusion (with even more blood and gore).

Machine Girl is a Japanese action movie with the same "gore is good" mindset but with slightly better special effects and slicker overall production. Ami (Minase Yashiro), a girl with a tragic past and a brother who gets mixed up with the wrong crowd, is kidnapped and tortured, losing her arm in the process. After escaping, a machinist builds her a customized machine-gun arm attachment. (This may remind readers of Planet Terror, the Robert Rodriguez half of Grindhouse (2007) in which Rose McGowan is fitted with a machine gun leg or even of the much earlier Army of Darkness (1992), the Sam Raimi cult classic in which the hero, Ash fits a chainsaw on to his injured arm -- both are apt comparisons).

With her weapon in place, Machine Girl has only one goal: revenge. This motivation may be the only real difference between the mood of the two films. Machine Girl is full of the kind of rage that is spun from true hatred; the Hobo is seeking justice in a system where the police don't just turn a blind eye to the violence and crime, some play an active role in a number of very unsavory acts and activities.

It's possible that there is a deeper political message buried under the blood and guts in Hobo with a Shotgun. Watching it with my husband, he said, "It's the Republican Dream! The Hobo just wants to be an entrepreneur but the welfare state won't let him get ahead." I also appreciated the not-so-subtle take on sleazy reality-tv and film producers (a not-so-veiled dig at the infamous Bumfights) and on the complicit role that media plays in sensationalizing violence.

The sidekicks in both films are strong, if flawed women. Miki (Asami), who also lost family at the hands of those who tortured Ami, choses to get her violent revenge with the help of a chainsaw (there's those echoes of Army of Darkness again). The Hobo is helped by Abby (Molly Dusnworth), the archetypical hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold who also seems to have some daddy issues.

Splatter films like these are not for everyone; they are extremely graphic, spending more of their budget on fake blood than actors' salaries. Both films contained scenes that turned my stomach and offended me on some level but they each balanced those moments with some truly surprising, imaginative laugh-out-loud scenes. As such, I recommend them both, if you can manage the gore.

Hobo with a Shotgun ****

Machine Girl ***

NOTE: Even the trailers below are pretty graphic... consider yourself warned!

X-Men First Class: The Mutant Blu-Ray

2011-09-13T20:32:00.000-07:00

I loved X-Men First Class. So much so, that I saw in the theatre on opening day and a week before I bought it on DVD.To my sadness, the movie was CHOPPY. I am running another blu-ray in my PS3 to make sure it's not the new PS3. Here is a tweak to get it to play but skip a lot, and then I finally got it to work beautifullyHere's the solution:

Fire up your PS3
Go into the Settings.
Turn off the Internet connection.
Erase all the files in the BD Temp folder.
Erase the X-Men First Class file under the Data tree. (tool around, you'll be able to find it)
Restart your PS3 without the disc in it.
Put in the movie and rejoice! It looks like a cross between an episode of Mad-Men and the first 50 issues of X-Men.

Roadtrip entertainment: four audiobooks

2011-07-15T11:28:00.001-07:00

During our recent roadtrip travelling the highways through British Columbia and Alberta, our choice of entertainment was audiobooks. We finished four during the 10 days of travel:

Planet Simpson: How a Cartoon Masterpiece Documented an Era and Defined a Generation by Chris Turner (abridged)
World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War by Max Brooks (abridged, with full cast)
The Poisoner's Handbook: Murder and the Birth of Forensic Medicine in Jazz Age New York by Deborah Blum (unabridged)
Bossypants by Tina Fey (unabridged)

We had started Planet Simpson before we left on this trip but I am including it here because I haven't reviewed it yet elsewhere. For a family who watches hours of The Simpsons every week, this seemed to be a no-brainer as entertainment. For the most part, it was ridiculously enjoyable since we could all picture the exact sequences that the narrator was discussing as he led us through the show's inception and the many ways that The Simpsons have drawn from and contributed to popular culture.

Toward the latter chapters, we were noticing more repetition and the convention of using the episode numbers was annoying (7F01, 7F11, 8F13... they are meaningless to all but the most hardcore fans). It was also disappointing that for a show that spanned 20 seasons, the book only really discusses the first three or four. Suitable for almost any age though it does delve into some themes such as family values, politics and religion that may be a bit too academic for younger listeners.

***

Mike had already read World War Z and was disappointed that the audio book skipped over one pretty critical plot point (i.e. how the infection spread globally) but having a full cast (including big names like Carl Reiner, Rob Reiner and Alan Alda) made it more like a radio play than a novel. The story is told through a series of interviews with survivors following a war against ZACK (the Army code for Z, or Zombie). There is lots of descriptive gore from the front line but equal time is given to narrative about global politics and the different styles of warfare in which each nation engages.

While it was nice to have the full cast, I'd have liked the audio engineers to have paid more attention to balancing the levels from actor to actor -- I found myself needing to adjust the volume between each interview. That aside, I was kept entertained for the duration and it made me think about pandemics and how poorly most governments are prepared.

***

I had heard an interview with Deborah Blum about The Poisoner's Handbook on a Scientific American podcast last year; it had been on my wishlist ever since. The unabridged audiobook is read by Colleen Marlo who does a great job with the script. The book introduces the listener to two of the key players in the development of forensic toxicology: Charles Norris and Alexander Gettler. The two worked in New York from the late 1800s through early 20th century as Medical Examiner and Chief Toxicologist/Chemist respectively. They worked without much of a budget or staff but both were determined to find ways to measure various poisons scientifically and consistently so that the results could be used in court to convict, or clear the accused. They weren't always right and they also made a few enemies (including rather famously New York Mayor LaGuardia) but they did succeed in creating a new field of scientific study that had an immeasurable impact on 20th century criminal investigations.

Toward the end, we were growing tired of the constant discussion about methyl alcohol and its role in hundreds of deaths during Prohibition but aside from that, the story moves through a series of suspicious deaths, murders and crime sprees that mystery writers love and investigators hate. Some, I'd heard of before like the "Radium Girls" who worked in a factory painting glow in the dark paint on watch faces and many that were headlines in the 1920s but would be forgotten were it not for authors like Blum. There are some grizzly sequences, as can be expected and one section that was unexpectedly lurid; parents consider yourselves warned.

****

Tina Fey is definitely someone I admire -- I totally get her sense of humour and I respect the place she made for herself inside the Old Boy's Club of late-night and prime-time comedy. While she makes fun of her "nerd/librarian" vibe it has worked well for her. In Bossypants, she discusses her life from childhood traumas through her discovery of improv and how it changed her life, to her time with NBC and her life outside work as a parent and a celebrity. It's not a long book but there's not a five minute stretch that I didn't find entertaining.

If however, you are not a fan of Tina Fey you will not be won over by this book. She is, as always, unapologetic about being a woman, being liberal, and moving forward. Of all the books we listened to, this was the most "adult" -- Fey swears and discusses all sorts of subjects easily classified under the "parental discretion is advised" banner.

****

Focus by Leo Babauta

2011-07-08T09:03:00.000-07:00

Leo Babauta, creator of zen habits, subtitled Focus “A simplicity manifesto in the age of distraction.” It’s an appropriate title for a collection of essays extolling the benefits of slowing down, clearing your mind, clearing your desk, and picking one thing to do at a time.

Babauta never claims it will be an easy task and even admits it’s not going to work for everyone in every situation. He does suggest that if you have even a small sum of control over your workflow, you can make meaningful changes and get more done with less stress.

I have to confess: I read this book in fits and starts in transit and on breaks and wherever I could find 10 minutes at a time until I was finally able to finish the last third in one extended uninterrupted sitting. As I write this review, I have the television on and am constantly switching my attention from one screen to the other. I fear actually tallying the number of hours I spend checking the black holes of Facebook, Twitter and Gmail. And clutter? I am its queen. If there is a target audience for this book, I’m in it.

Almost everything in Focus makes sense to me and yet I can’t yet visualize myself doing most of it. Specifically, two key parts would require me to make huge changes to my outlook: decluttering and disconnecting.

Decluttering is something I have struggled with my entire life. My parents bought in bulk and hung on to things “just in case” they came in handy, and they often did. As a kid, I just assumed this was how everyone lived, surrounded by Stuff. There is nothing new to me in Focus that I haven’t already read and tried to implement at some point over the years.

However, in one of the bonus chapters at the end of Focus, “How to create a minimalist workspace to find focus” by Everett Bogue is this sentence that I think I need to cross-stitch and hang somewhere obvious:

“Just in case” is a place in the space-time continuum that invokes clutter, but not much else that’s useful.

Or is creating the cross-stitch just adding clutter? Oh well.

Disconnecting is do-able for me, but I always feel, as Babauta suggests, like I am missing something. He rightly points out however that we are not omniscient beings and online or not, we are always missing many somethings. It’s an important concept to keep in mind.

These are just my personal hang-ups of course and it may yet be possible for me to overcome them if I wanted to. Is Babauta’s book the answer for me? No, but it is a solid building block. toward a happy medium, I suspect. He even offers some tips on how parents can focus without blocking out their kids and how to work with spouses and bosses in order to find focus.

Focus is a springboard book – it offers some key concepts in how to find and keep one’s mind open and clear by stepping back from some of the worlds’ distractions. If you are looking for somewhere to start, this is as good as any other you’ll find on the self-help shelves.

On the other hand, if you're thinking all this is BS, you're not alone. Penelope Trunk thinks Babauta's minimalist lifestyle is boring and requires too many sacrifices to be realistic for most people.

***

Buy the full book at focusmanifesto.com or follow the links to Amazon below for other formats:

Mayor of the Sunset Strip (2003)

2011-05-30T15:50:00.000-07:00

Rodney Bingenheimer has launched some of the biggest and most influential acts in North America and yet I'd never heard of him until I saw this documentary. Bingenheimer got his start as a publicist for Sonny and Cher in the mid-60s. He used his position to build up a reputation as a super-groupie -- celebrities' go-to-guy in L.A. -- eventually evolving into a star-maker and an authority on the next big thing in music.

Through a nightclub called the English Disco (which he abandoned once disco hit mainstream) and later through his long-running radio show on KROQ, Bingenheimer introduced David Bowie, Blondie, Bow Wow Wow, Nirvana, Oasis and countless others to his followers. His show still runs on KROQ and though it airs in the wee hours between Sunday and Monday (midnight to 3 am) podcasting could allow him to reach out to potential new listeners.

Written and directed by George Hickenlooper (Factory Girl, Hearts of Darkness), Mayor of the Sunset Strip is a biographical documentary of Bingenheimer that illustrates how much influence one music fan could have on the industry in the 70s and 80s and even into the 90s and beyond. The footage was gathered over a span of 6 years and includes interviews with many of the people whose careers Bingenheimer launched plus notable "Rodneyites" from Mackenzie Phillips to Courtenay Love to Kato Kaelin. The film is equal parts a biography of Bingenheimer and of the world of glam rock, punk and alternative rock -- it's perhaps fitting that someone who spent his life on the edge of society immersed himself in the edges of popular music.

What amazes me is that while Bingenheimer has been surrounded by celebrities most of his life, he is neither rich nor famous. He eats at Denny's, drives a classic GTO, and seems to be living his life in his own shadow. There is a palpable sadness to the film as the music scene has become very much a music industry where radio play is increasingly irrelevant. Though he can count many of the biggest names in music among his friends and has his own star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, one senses that he is on some level utterly alone.

****

Currently, Mayor of the Sunset Strip is available on YouTube in 7 parts.

Starter for 10 (2006)

2011-05-05T21:29:00.000-07:00

Starter for 10 is a British romantic comedy based on David Nicholls' novel of the same name. It stars James McAvoy as Brian Jackson who has been obsessed with quiz shows his whole life. When he leaves his working class neighbourhood to attend University, he leaps at the chance to join the University Challenge team.

On his first night in town, his new roommates drag him to a "Tarts & Vicars" theme party where he meets Rebecca (Rebecca Hall). Their paths cross again on his way to Challenge try-outs but he almost completely forgets her when Alice (Alice Eve), the clever blonde, catches his eye. From here, the film takes a well-beaten romantic path of falling for the wrong girl even though the right girl is clearly under his nose. However, even in this standard arena, the writing is good enough to rise above the average romcom. While Brian is pursuing Alice he is also in pursuit of general knowledge. His main obstacle to that goal is the petty competitiveness of Patrick Watts (Benedict Cumberbatch), the University Challenge team lead. The audience presumes from the outset that the climax will have to occur at the quiz show and the screenplay does not disappoint on that level.

Nichols' Starter for 10 feels very much like a Nick Hornby story -- both authors seem to write about young male adults awkwardly navigating through life. It also features a great soundtrack full of early to mid-80s British chart toppers: The Cure, early Wham!, Buzzcocks, New Order and more -- though I could have done without The Smiths' "Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want" on yet another soundtrack. The 80s retro-ness is not over the top, however, the movie could take place in almost any era.

Clocking in at just over 90 minutes, the film is well paced with just enough awkwardness to keep it from being saccharine and the cast strong enough to give well-rounded performances to even the smallest roles.

***

Mad Men before Mad Men

2011-02-04T14:28:00.000-08:00

All out of Mad Men episodes? Get the flavour of 1960s advertising from a retro double feature of How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying (1967) and Lover Come Back (1961).

Lover Come Back showcases Rock Hudson, Doris Day and Tony Randall performing their usual screwball comedy shenanigans in this film about competing advertising executives, the drinking, womanizing charmer Jerry Webster (Hudson) and the hard working, ethically-superior Carol Templeton (Day). Randall is Webster’s boss, uneasy in his role under the shadow of his late father. As Webster’s unscrupulous tactics threaten to take down the agency, he cooks up a way to hush up a witness by making her the new “VIP girl.” Unfortunately, VIP doesn’t exist and Webster has to create a product to go with the pitch. When Templeton tries to track Webster (and VIP) down, a mistaken identity leads to madcap adventures.

Lover Come Back is typical of the 60s screwball comedy -- if you’ve seen Pillow Talk (1959) or the more recent Down With Love (2003) then you’ve already seen Lover Come Back -- but by watching it through the eyes of a Mad Men fan, you can interpret it on another level. t’s fun to see the characteristics of Webster and Templeton in Don Draper and Peggy Olson and maybe just a bit of Pete Ramsey in Pete Campbell. It’s also got the same feel for the cutthroat competition between agencies and the lengths to which agents will go to get an account.

The first thing you notice about How to Succeed in Buisness is lead actor Robert Morse who fans will recognize as agency head Burt Cooper from Mad Men. A much younger Robert Morse is J. Pierpont Finch, a window-washer who stumbles on a book that teaches him how to bluff his way up the ladder in an ad-agency. It’s a musical, albeit an uneven one, and Morse also played the role on Broadway. Also reprising his role from the stage is Rudy Vallee as Mr. Biggley.

Unlike Lover Come Back which more or less glamorizes the industry, How to Succeed lampoons it, every step of the way, from the opener about "The Company Way" to the era’s take on sexual harassment with the musical number "A Secretary is Not a Toy" to the constant sarcastic narrative from the booklet. Unfortunately How to Succeed tends to lag in the third act but does eventually redeem itself. Worth seeing just for Morse’s performance.

There is no doubt in my mind that the Mad Men set directors, costume designers, and even the writers took some crib notes from these two films, so while we wait for the next season, why not treat yourself to these two classics.

Lover Come Back (1961) ****
How to Succeed in Business... (1967) ***

Teenage Paparazzo (2010)

2010-09-27T21:33:00.000-07:00

Adrian Grenier is best known as Vince, the lead character in Entourage and he knows something about the paparazzi. Teenage Paparazzo is Grenier's story about trying to understand the paparazzi through the eyes of one of them, who happens to be just 14 years old.

I have one word to describe this film: engrossing. I could not look away. It had all the best parts of a documentary (great hook, intriguing subject, good pacing) plus celebrities. Grenier manages to get the best of both worlds -- as an actor, he has easy access to other actors and celebrities -- he even uses Paris Hilton (who deosn't seem to mind) to show off how fast rumors are spun from the photos that are submitted to the tabloids. On the other hand, he buys a camera and spends some time running with the paparazzi, stalking other celebrities.

In addition to looking at the heart of the issue (who is buying the photos? who is consuming them? what's with our obsession?) through discussions with psychologists, historians and other experts, Grenier manages to portray paparazzi not as bottom-feeders but as people doing a job.

But this is not a movie about Grenier (something he actually seems to figure out along the way); it's about a boy, Austin Visschedyk, who is so invested in getting the shot that will pay off -- pushing, cursing, and always clicking -- it's easy to forget that he's just a kid. When his story breaks, he is thrust into the other side of the camera as a celebrity.

I have to wonder what path Visshedyk will ultimately follow, having had both a taste of celebrity and also of the adrenalin-fueled pace of the celebrity-stalker. I kinda hope he grows up to be an accountant but I suspect Hollywood has a pretty firm hold.

****

It's All In Your Head. Everything May Be In Your Head

2010-07-18T21:47:00.000-07:00

Inception is proof that an idea doesn’t need to be new to be original. The expertly crafted work from Christopher Nolan comes after decades of movies of a similar topic. Think of all of the big budget movies that have come out with the premise that all of reality is in our imagination.

The Manchurian Candidate - The pop-culture idea that the brain was an erector set came out of the Korean War. The Chinese attempted to use brainwashing to change its subjects. In the 1962 thriller, Frank Sinatra tried to find out how the Chinese messed with his head and the head of the titular character played by Lawrence Harvey.

The Matrix - The granddaddy headspace of the last decade or so was The Matrix. The Wachowski Brothers movie lent from Dark City, Terminator and other movies to weave a figurative matrix that does two things at the same time: it gives you a visual feast and a lot of philosophy to chew on.
"Whoa."

Total Recall - The Schwarzenegger blockbuster Total Recall used “is this for real” as a massive plot device. The company, Recall, sells memories of vacations. When they go to imprint Arnie’s character, they discover that he’s living with an imprinted memory. So: is he a secret agent jarred into turmoil through the Recall process; or is he living out the ultimate fantasy vacation as a double agent on Mars.

Dreamscape - When I first heard of Inception I thought, “Oh man... Dreamscape...” and was worried that even Christopher Nolan could turn out a turkey. This movie from 1984 shares a lot of similarities to Inception. Dennis Quaid has the job of delving into people’s nightmares. Ironically, this movie about nightmares was eclipsed by the first Nightmare on Elm Street movie that came out that same year.

The Cell - Before Jennifer Lopez was a punchline she was in the imaginative and gripping movie, The Cell. Like Dreamscape and Inception, the characters in The Cell move into the dreaming minds of people. When they take a walk into the Serial Killer mind of Vincent D'Onofrio things get going.

Brainstorm - Like Inception, The Cell and others, Brainstorm hinges on the technology held inside of a super box. In The last movie to star Natalie Wood co-starred Christopher Walken and Louise Fletcher as a trio of scientists who could record and replay what people experienced. The doodad in Inception became so much military surplus, but the government in Brainstorm wanted to take it over and make it into a torture device. Along the way they trapped the dying moments of the someone’s life and the tape becomes forbidden fruit.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind - In Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Jim Carey’s characters was too many memories and he wants to pay to have some of them excised. Say good-bye to heart ache and loss-- deleted like bad photos. But then, what are we, if all of the sadness could get zapped out?

Dark City - In Dark City, they’ve taken the chemistry set approach and what we are, then use bad experiences and good memories to melange people. Aliens want to learn who we are by distilling us-- our personalities-- and recombining them like a massive extended compare contrast. Who are we if our memories were just ingredients off of a shelf?

Waking Life - To get into the surrealism of what is reality, there’s Waking Life. The movie was shot on video and then the scenes were re-done as animations. Director Richard Linklater takes the palette of the animations and adds an extra visual dimension to this long but fascinating rumination on what Waking Life actually is.

Dollhouse - On the small screen, Dollhouse started with a shallow premise that evolved into so much more. The short-lived series from Joss Whedon featured a “Dollhouse”-- a place that sold people programmed to be other people. The sinister potential of this concept came to fruition later in the series as it was revealed that the Dollhouse corporation was treating human consciousness like hard drives-- and you both copy, blank out, edit and shelve hard drives.

Christoper Nolan’s movie comes into a thicket of other movies that ask “What is real?” I like to think that all movies-- works of fiction-- are not real and the irony that they pose these questions is terrific.

Did I miss anything?

Inception (2010)

2010-07-17T08:43:00.000-07:00

Inception, like The Matrix and Waking Life, challenges the viewer's concept of reality. All three films do so by wrapping the philosophy inside a grenade of visual effects. The risk taken by these films is that viewers may not "get it" -- that they will walk away more frustrated than amazed. Of the three, The Matrix is still the benchmark for mass appeal but Inception should be a close second.

The definition of inception is "the beginning of something, a commencement or origin" and for the purposes of this film, it is the seed of an idea that can be planted deep in a person's subconscious through a shared dream state. To believe that this is possible, one must first accept the film's premise that dreams can be not only shared but also built, directed, and manipulated by others. Cobb (Leonardo Di Caprio) and Arthur (Joseph Gordon Levitt) work together with a carefully selected crew of chemists, architects and forgers to infiltrate minds and secure secrets for their clients. We learn that extracting information is much easier than planting an idea and that both activities are not only illegal but also very dangerous.

It's not the first film to illustrate the dangers of messing with people's minds -- both Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and Being John Malkovich also explore this realm. While the crumbling memories of Eternal Sunshine are well-represented in Inception, I also think writer-director Christopher Nolan picked up on Malkovich's pride of self in building believable worlds for the dreamer.

Nolan wrote the first draft of the script about 8 years ago but has said that the idea grew from his own attempts (and apparent success) of lucid dreaming. Nolan's scripts frequently delve into the mind's corners, dragging the viewer into situations that seem just barely plausible. In lesser films I would be not so forgiving of the apparent lack of internal consistency afforded one key plot point, the kick. I won't discuss it here but for a great summary of my problem with it, check point #39 in "50 Things About Inception" by Adam Best (but be warned, the article is wall-to-wall spoilers).

My only other complaint is that I would have preferred to see better use of some of the supporting cast -- Levitt's Arthur is particularly strong as the straight man who just wants to go in and get the job done but is also able to adapt to Cobb's penchant for bending the rules. On the other hand, if Inception were to ever become a franchise, Nolan could easily develop a film around Arthur or almost any one of the other characters.

While there is grumbling across the net about the ending, I appreciated it, just as I don't mind following Nolan's breadcrumbs through a film. The breadcrumbs are what make Memento and his adaptation of The Prestige so much fun to watch again and again; once you know how each film ends, watching one from the beginning adds a new layer to your understanding. Inception is very similar in its structure and while I can't say I will rush to see it a second time in its first run, I am already looking forward to seeing Cobb and his crew again.

**** 1/2

P.S. If you've seen the film, or if you want a better idea of the world in which it takes place, check out Inception: the Cobol Job, a prequel in comic form.

The Dark Side of Dancing.

2010-05-27T12:17:00.000-07:00

Saturday Night Fever (1977), Fame (1980) and Flashdance (1983): three films about finding fame as entertainers shaped my teenage views of the industry -- or did they?

At only 8, I was not old enough to see Saturday Night Fever in the theatre so all I knew of it at that age was from the soundtrack and the many pop-culture references to Tony's (John Travolta) famous dance sequence on the disco floor. To me, it was all about the dance competition; it wasn't until years later that I saw the full movie and got to see just how crappy the rest of Tony's life was.

Again, with Fame, I'm not sure I saw the film in the theatre but I did watch the TV show, at least in its early years (did it really run until 1987?). I know that I eventually saw the film on Pay-TV (Superchannel, likely) and/or VHS. Unlike the TV show, the film included nudity, swearing, and even drug use, highlighting the inner-city side of the students' lives.

Flashdance I definitely saw in the theatre and I watched it over and over through my teens and early 20s on VHS. I was willing to overlook that the dancing was done by a body double and that the movie started the trends of torn sweatshirts and leg-warmers simply because Alex taught me how to take off a bra without removing my shirt.

More important though, was what the movies taught me: if you work hard enough, you can be an entertainer. There was never a question of luck, or money, just hard work and determination, oh, and making the "right" choices (don't do topless lap-dances, come back and work at the skeezy artsy dance house!) -- your basic American Dream scenario.

Unfortunately, it the characters lives are actually all pretty dark and miserable. They are surrounded by suicides, teen pregnancies, crappy day jobs and estranged parents. The films even look filtered and muted -- while this was typical of the era (a more realistic view of the world in contrast to Technicolor), in comparison to today's hyper-color-corrected and digitally enhanced films they just seem that much more gritty and depressing.

Perhaps I succeeded in distilling these films down to their dance sequences through listening totheir soundtracks; eventually, the scenes in between just faded away. Seeing each of them recently, I kind of wish I'd let those sleeping dogs lie.

I still recommend all of these films -- maybe even as a triple bill over a weekend -- but be prepared for the bumpy ride before you get to the inevitable happy ending of each one.

Date Night (2010)

2010-05-05T20:34:00.000-07:00

Tina Fey and Steve Carell are such an obvious comedic pairing it's almost a shame that this is their debut. Almost. The two of them are good enough comedians to be able to elevate this rather average mistaken-identity action-comedy beyond simply "watchable" to "amusing."

Date Night takes average people out of the suburbs and drops them into the middle of an unlikely evening of excitement in the big city -- think of After Hours, Adventures in Babysitting, even Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle. The mistaken identity plot line isn't particularly fresh either -- think of North By Northwest, The Big Lebowski, and countless others -- but Fey and Carell have a genuine screen chemistry and make the most of a thin script.

All they want is a nice dinner in Manhattan; what they get is a not-quite-madcap dash throughout New York City, complete with gunfire and car-chases. Unlike couples in so many romantic comedies the Fosters are happily married and, while they might be in a rut, they seem to genuinely enjoy each other's company and support each other. They work together to get out of the mess they are in -- from finding unlikely help in Manhattan to the saw-it-coming-down-Main-street showdown at the climax.

Date Night is not a long movie. Clocking in at only 88 minutes, the movie doesn't have too much time to drag. Throughout, there are plenty of laughs that run the spectrum from knee-slapping guffaws to uncomfortable chuckles and while most are care of lines delivered by Fey and Carell, other actors get to shine, too. I doubt that Date Night will find a place in the rom-com cannon but it's a decent date flick, worth the admission price.

If you go, be sure to stay through the credits; two of my biggest laughs were at the out-takes.

***

Alice in Wonderland (2010)

2010-03-12T16:25:00.000-08:00

Disney's latest version of Alice in Wonderland, helmed by Tim Burton is every bit as weird and whimsical as you might expect. The first thing you need to know is that it is not a remake of the childhood classic. Instead, it picks up the characters thirteen years later, when Alice is all but grown up and facing an arranged marriage. It's an interesting way to approach the material and the characters without destroying something so dear to many people.

Without giving too much away, this movie owes as much to The Matrix as it does to the Lewis Carroll's original works. Alice is convinced she is in a dream for most of the adventure and spends most of her time trying to wake up. However, as in the Matrix, the characters are split as to whether she is the right Alice (i.e. The One) or whether the White Rabbit (like Morpheus) has fetched the wrong one; only The Alice will be able to help them defeat their foe. The caterpillar here plays the role of the Oracle and the Mad Hatter and other tea party guests are much like the group of rebels on board the Nebuchadnezzar. Like the Matrix there is also a climatic battle scene that uses the lion's share of the special effects budget.

The look of the film is typical of Tim Burton, full of twisted trees, characters with exaggerated features, and the feeling of a world that extends well beyond the edges of the screen (even without 3D technology -- we did not see the 3D print so I can't comment on how well the technology was applied. ). Burton also used colour very deliberately, with the Mad Hatter (Johnny Depp) and the Red Queen (Helena Bonham Carter) as twin centres of attention and Alice (Mia Wasikowska) in her trademark blue standing out against the rest of Wonderland's muted hues. As an example, here is a comparison of Tweedledum and Tweedledee from the famous John Tenniel drawings, the 1951 Disney Animated version and the Tim Burton version, played by Matt Lucas (which I think was brilliant casting):

The film does take some odd turns -- most peculiar is the funderwhacking that is mentioned so many times that the viewer knows it will play out before the credits roll. Unfortunately when it appears, it's like a rancid walnut in a mouthful of mixed nuts and it really should have been left on the cutting room floor (it's as out of place as the jitterbug sequence that was wisely cut from The Wizard of Oz).

In the end, this version of Alice in Wonderland is principally 100 minutes of eye candy; my 9 year old said it best, "You know how there are some movies where, once they start, you can't take your eyes off the screen? This one was like that." It's not going to pay off big with a great plot or even memorable performances (though some are at least interesting, many of the cast were given little with which they could work) but if you see it on the big screen, you're likely to feel like you got your money's worth.

*** 1/2

Related media:

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Collapse (2009)

2010-02-14T21:39:00.000-08:00

Michael Ruppert is a man who has been preaching about the downfall of civilization for a couple of decades and he might be right. The collapse of the title is civilization as we know it -- but it's not global destruction from nuclear fallout, a global weather event, or alien attacks. The collapse Ruppert has predicted is what happens when oil runs out. The scary part is thinking about everything else that oil is used to produce -- not just the fuel to run our cars, but tires, toothbrushes, fertilizers and much more. Ruppert believes that once oil is no longer affordable, society will begin to crumble.

As often happens with documentaries, Chris Smith had not set out to direct this particular film. He was researching another issue for which Ruppert was a source but, as it says on the opening frame, Ruppert had other things to talk about.

For the majority of the film, the camera focuses on Ruppert as he talks, smokes, and laughs at the interviewer's "rookie" questions. Stock footage is used to move the story along as Ruppert goes from credible to crazy and back again.

At one point, Ruppert talks about the kind of people you find on the Titanic when told it is sinking: the type who have no clue (deer in the headlights), the type who know and are willing to do what is necessary to survive (the builders) and those who think that the messenger has no clue (the non-believers). He suggested that the builders would get busy putting together the life boats and getting the heck out of there. What he failed to mention was the subset of non-believers (or just as likely, among the deer in the headlights crowd) who, on seeing the solution, would simply take the life boats, using force as needed.

Ultimately, on the credible-crazy scale I would award him credible, though I would like to back it up by researching some of his claims myself.

***

Visit the official website or view the trailer:

In the End...

2010-01-16T21:01:00.000-08:00

Sometimes the best part of a movie is the ending but when reviewing movies it's not a good thing when you give that away. So, here, in no particular order and spoiler-free are seven movies that I think are better because of their endings:

The Italian Job (1969) -- Michael Caine leads a crew of Brits through the streets of Turin to pull off a heist during the World Cup celebrations. Don't be hoodwinked into renting the re-make; it's a pale imitation that lacks all the imagination and cool of the original.

Shallow Grave (1994) -- Ewan McGregor, Christopher Eccleston and Kerry Fox are roommates who share a very dark sense of humour. When they find a dead body and a lot of money their friendship may be at risk. This film is very dark, and more than a little violent but also very funny.

The Prestige (2006) -- Michael Caine again, here with Christian Bale and Hugh Jackman in a tale about two rival magicians. Before I saw this film, someone told me to pay close attention to a certain scene because it would reveal the ending. I paid attention and still gasped as the ending played out screen.

The Spanish Prisoner (1997) -- Campbell Scott and Steve Martin headline this clever con film. Maybe my favourite David Mamet film, the script is filled with sharp dialog and plot twists right to the last lines.

Knowing (2009) -- Strange things start to happen after a time capsule is opened; Nicholas Cage leads. Probably the cheeziest movie on this list but I really appreciated the follow-through.

War of the Roses (1989) -- When Michael Douglas and and Kathleen Turner decide to get a divorce, it gets ugly, fast. Another black comedy, the details in the final scene paint it even darker.

The Talented Mr. Ripley (1999) -- Matt Damon finds that he is skilled in impersonation while on a trip to Italy to retrieve a playboy living in luxury. At once dreamlike and creepy, this film will stick in your mind.

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (2009)

2010-01-09T17:58:00.000-08:00

All Flint Lockwood (voiced by Bill Hader) wants to be is a great inventor. Unfortunately, he lives in Swallow Falls which is known only as the world's biggest supplier of canned sardines. After years of failure, he finally finds success with a machine that can turn water into food -- what could go wrong?

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs is inspired by a bestselling picture book by Ron and Judi Barrett that tells the story of a scientist trying to solve world hunger. Similar problems evolve in both the book and the film, though, and lead to a similar conclusion.

Like many animated films, Cloudy includes some sight gags and dialogue that is aimed at the parents in the audience but for the most part this film is perfectly suited to young kids. The characters are miles away from the uncanny valley with oversize heads, big eyes, and wild hair. They live in a crayon-hued world that follows the rules of cartoons rather than physics.

The voice work is top notch, having borrowed half the current cast of Saturday Night Live and thrown in Bruce Campbell, Mister T, Benjamin Bratt, Neil Patrick Harris, and Al Roker just for kicks.

Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs is not Oscar-worthy animation but it's not a bad way to spend 90 minutes with the kids.

*** ½

Daybreakers (2009)

2010-01-08T22:45:00.000-08:00

What happens when the population has adapted to the vampire lifestyle but starts to run out of humans? If you are the CEO of Bromley Marks, you offer a supply of human blood while researching a synthetic alternative. Of course, Charles Bromley's (Sam Neill) blood bank clearly has its own agenda and isn't about to let its star researcher Edward Dalton (Ethan Hawke) alter it. In the meantime, the army has been re-deployed to hunt humans and blood-starved vampires are mutating into something much more frightening.

Unlike similar films -- think of The Matrix, Blade, Underworld, and Zombieland -- that take some time to pull the audience aside and explain "how we got into this mess," Daybreakers skips all of that. It skips a few other key points too, leaving it wide open for sequels, prequels, spinoffs and whatever else might make a future buck.

Daybreakers connects some interesting dots. For example, there are a lot of smokers among the vampires -- I guess if you're already dead, lung cancer is not an issue -- and coffee, the universal lubricant of the white collar worker, is being served with 20% blood. Chrysler got some product placement, too, with cars modified for "daylight driving systems" -- a series of shields, cameras and heads-up displays -- one of several tech and infrastructure modifications for our future vampire selves.

Overall, I appreciated the world the filmmakers built but it lacked some basic aspects of, well, humanity. I know who we were supposed to cheer for but somewhere in the midst of a car chase that belonged in a different screenplay I lost interest. The characters had little to offer me in the way of emotion -- even (maybe especially) the human characters. There's also a subplot with Bromley that works only as a plot device to shove the story forward, however awkwardly.

In fact, awkward may be the best word to describe this film -- a little bit like a gawky teen who has grown faster than he's matured, Daybreakers features some great ideas and inventive special effects and makeup work, but it sends mixed-messages with its inconsistency. I suspect the Spierig brothers have a great film in them but Daybreakers isn't it.

I will give it top marks in one department: Daybreakers delivers on its promise of sparkle-free vampires.

***

Two Polanski Films: Rosemary's Baby and Chinatown

2009-10-03T09:15:00.000-07:00

Following the storm around Roman Polanski's arrest and pending extradition from Switzerland, Mike and I decided it was time to watch two of his films that were on our fill-in-the-canon list. (Canon may be too strong here but they are oft-referenced films by academics and other reviewers that we hadn't seen.) Both films were available at our local library so I placed holds on both titles and the stars aligned to make them both available last night.

Rosemary's Baby does have some creepy moments but overall it is a ridiculous film. The most unsettling scenes are in the first act where a young couple moves into an odd apartment building and soon meets the Castavets, possibly the world's most invasive elderly couple. From the time that Rosemary (Mia Farrow) and her husband first dine with the Castavets, the film takes a turn from creepy to off-balanced and from there it rockets to just plain silly. The biggest problem comes from the connection that the screenplay (and Levin's book before that) makes between witchcraft and satanism. This not only dates the film (more so than the Vidal Sassoon haircut and 60s wardrobe) but makes it almost unwatchable for anyone who is familiar with wiccans and modern witchcraft. That aside, Polanski does manage to make the film tense right up to the last scene (which let me down), if you believe that the protagonist was unable to put two and two together until someone sent her a book filled with underlined passages. Her fogginess is due in part to being perpetually drugged by the Castavets and her complicit husband. His cooperation was one of many plot points that was poorly supported. It's clear that Rosemary's Baby is a horror film -- most of the truly frightening events are left to the imagination of the viewer -- but it is a weak representation of the genre.

Chinatown, on the other hand, is a much more watchable movie. Set in 1930s Los Angeles, the film centres on Jake Gittes (Jack Nicholson), a private eye who deals in relationship issues but .ends up getting drawn into a much bigger case. Chinatown is considered a "neo-noir" -- it bears all the marks of a Film Noir but was made 25 years after the golden age for that genre. Throughout, it reminded me of L.A. Confidential (if you have seen one, you'll likely enjoy the other). Nicholson is at his best here, playing a detective with a conscience -- he just wants to get to the bottom of it all. Faye Dunaway plays the femme fatale and she does it well; it's hard to tell just which side she's on until the end. I was not expecting the political intrigue or the other drama that unfolds; there's a lot to tell in Chinatown and it is all worth watching. The movie has aged well, perhaps due to being set in the past and, despite its age, still manages to be shocking.

** Rosemary's Baby
**** Chinatown

Hard Candy (2005)

2009-06-07T00:14:00.000-07:00

What happens when the predator becomes the prey? In Hard Candy, we watch a 30-something photographer, Jeff lure Hayley, a precocious honor-roll 14 year old from an internet chat room to a meeting at a local coffee shop and then to his home. Unfortunately for Jeff, Hayley already knows what she's getting into.

Everything about the production -- from the direction to the sound editing -- is well executed but the performances from the two leads, each intensely emotional and raw, are the cornerstone.

Watching Hard Candy is an intellectual tennis match as the audience is torn between rooting for the creepy pedophile and the violent teen. Is it exploitation? That's hard to say although the suggestion algorithms on some movie sites put it in the same category as Saw and other "torture porn" horror films. Personally, I would put it in the same category as some of David Mamet's and Neil LaBute's work such as Oleanna and In the Company of Men. Like those films, Hard Candy humanizes people who are normally shown as one-dimensional villains and also forces the audience to consider the repercussions of vigilante actions.

****

Underworld: Rise of the Lycans

2009-05-26T08:09:00.000-07:00

The ancient feud between Werewolves (aka Lycans) and Vampires had a beginning. The first two Underworld movies were set in modern day as Vampires and Lycans blasted away at each other with machine guns and high-tech toys. In the modern day, Viktor (Bill Nighy) meets his end, there comes a hybrid of the Lycans and Vampires. Centuries earlier, Viktor was a king-- he held sway over lesser Vampires as well as the lords of the nearby human lands. He and his undead held court. Humans accept Viktor's reign in exchange for his promise of relief from the onslaught of Werewolves. Past their supernatural origins, Werewolves were polar opposite of Vampires: feral, cursed, once men but doomed to live our their lives as vicious predators in animal form. Viktor found a Werewolf that gave birth to a human-appearing child. He killed the Werewolf, but took her baby, named it Lucian, and raised him in his castle. When Werewolves bite humans, they transfer the curse to their victims. Lucian was different: he could transform into Lycan form and back into human form. As a Lycan, his bite would infect victims with his variation of lycanthropy-- they could go to and from human form. The Vampires ruled the night but could not survive the day-- they needed the Lycans as servants and daytime protectors-- slaves. As we all know, slaves rebel. Viktor's daughter, Sonja, eventually joins the Vampire ranks after spending her childhood growing up sharing the castle with Lucian as he too grew up. Sonja is in love with Lucian. When Viktor discovers their secret love and the unborn Vampire/Lycan baby she bears, he puts her to death. Open revolts breaks out between the Lycans and the Vampires. In this medieval battle, the stage is set for the latter events of the first two movies.

The first two movies were written and directed by Len Wiseman. This time, Patrick Tatopolous directs the movie. Most of his movie credits involve technical world as a creature designer or costumer. Being a designer doesn't preclude someone from being good as a director (eg. Len Wiseman's art production background as well as Guillermo del Toro's origins), but Tatopolous may be stronger in the workshop than behind the camera. Tatopolous is stuck on one palette in this movie: blue. Dark, light, dull blue. Blue! The piercing blue eyes of Bill Nighy was very impressive; but there is a scene where Werewolves are lying await in the night in some foilage and there is almost no way to tell what is what. It was like an extra layer of macrovision copy protection at points, where you have guess with dark blue is connected to someone with a sword or a set of fangs.

This movie has a couple unenviable stumbling blocks. Preclude can be claustrophobic-- you know characters who appear in earliers movies will make it out alive of the latter prequel. This movie definitely goes down that road. Also, it feels like there is some franchise fatigue. The first two movies has Scott Speedman and Kate Beckinsale in front of the camera; with Len Wiseman behind the lens and scripting. The signifigant players (Bill Nighy, Michael Sheen with Kevin Grevioux) do return to color in the start of this feud. Beckinsale's role of Selena is replaced by lookalike Rhona Mitra playing Sonja-- this was set-up in the first movie and paid off here. Danny McBride (stuntman and contributor to all three movies) and Dirk Blackman (who's credits are this movie and the Viking-Alien epic, Outlander) penned this movie in Wiseman's place.

This movie is just what the title implies: it's the origin story of the Lycans and much of the movie centers around those creatures and characters. You don't see the Vampires in all their glory (almost done of the "Dracula" bag of tricks come into play-- no turning into bats, rats or wolves, nada). Nor is there the angry villager bent. Humans are backdrop: they express displeasure with Viktor like they were townspeople lipping off to the city comptroller. There is some much great potential from this concept and much of it boils down to cool sword battles, some great CGI of Werewolves and Lycans laying seige to a castle; and some naked side-hip action from Mitra and Sheen. As way to close off the franchise, this movie does accomplish that, but it falls well short of surprising you or giving you something new.

DVD Extras: The special featurettes talk about the production of the movie and the inner workings of the feud between Lycans and their former masters. There is a filmmakers's commentary where he details the production from his perspective.

***

Terminator: Salvation

2009-05-26T08:08:00.001-07:00

The film opens on death row. A condemned prisoner, Martin Wright (Sam Worthington) is giving a chance to donate his body to science. The scientist is from Cyberdyne Systems. In Terminator 3, John Connor is locked away safely when Skynet launches Judgment Day to emerge as the salvation of mankind-- pre-armed with the foreknowledge of how to fight the machines. Tune in 15 years later: Christian Bale plays John Connor-- the rebel leader / soldier. Humans are well organized against the robots: jets, subs and armed troops. They seem much better equipped than the ragtag fighters seen in the first movie. Michael Ironside commands the resistance from a secret location along with what looks to be remnants of an international force of senior officers. They have developed a way to shut off the machines and John Connor demands to test their new weapon. It also turns out that Skynet publishes a hit list of human targets: John Connor is #2 of the list; Kyle Reese is #1. Kyle Reese as Termintor followers will know is destined to be John Connor's father. Right now he's an anonymous resistance fighter and half of the force fighting in Los Angeles. After the raid on a research lab by Connor and the resistance, Martin Wright comes back from the dead. Confused, he stumbles through the wasteland (think of a super-duper version of the Fallout 3 environment). The wanders into LA defended by Reese and a plucky mute girl-- two people are left in Los Angeles. Outside of town Reese, Wright and the girl find an abandonned 7-11 teaming with survivors: easily 10 times the population of post-nuclear LA. The machines attack in some great action sequences-- scenes coupled with deep audio that rumbles like no home theatre could ever accomplish: it'll really bubble your soda. Reese is targetted for termination, but is taken captive. Wright does not get captured, but instead gets rescued by the sexy fighter pilot, Blair Williams (Moon Bloodgood). After the obligatory fighting-off-the-rapists scene, the two bond. She takes them back to the secret base when Connor is located. Then the big shocker-- the dead guy bought by Cyberdyne at the start of the movie who is impervious to harm and hunger, is.. a robot! Eventually he escapes and goes back to Skynet headquarters to find Reese. Connor follows to bust Reese and other captives out of Skynet headquarters. The big action unfolds and in a poorly guarded secret, Arnie makes a comback. What is majorly cool: it's an all digital Arnie. If your harken back to Mummy II and the sadly plastic Rock, then progress through the technical leaps you get to this movie. He looks freakish like the same Schwarzenegger that busted up a police station in the early 1980s. If this is the face of cinema, I think we'll get to see an all-digital Humphrey Bogart / Harrison Ford movie in five years. It's really impressive. By the wrap-up, the loose ends are tied and up the door is open for many sequences with young Kyle Reese and his son, John Connor fighting the machines.

The action is impressive. There is some terrific tension built into the scenes. McG has a stupid name but a real talent for putting together great action sequences. Christan Bale and the rest of the cast are good in their respective roles. If park your brain at the door, you're in for a great ride. If you think you sink in this movie. The plot holes abound. Connor keeps jumping up and down the Resistance org chart: one minute he's a soldier taking orders; next minute, he just short of being in charge of the whole movement. The robots control this massive sum of technology, but they can't zero in on the pirate broadcast from Connor yet they can tune in on the command headquarters. The robots wanted Reese and Connor dead-- but when given the chance they resort to stupid Bond-villian style exploits including revealing their plans to the only hero who can make a difference. Maybe someone jammed a Roger Moore Bond DVD into Skynet before it went online. Connor is obsessed with saving his eventual father because if he doesn't he won't be born. When WHEN WHEN will Hollywood figure out how time travels works? If someone changes "a" past it doesn't change all pasts-- it just changes the relative past. Besides that-- the crux of the Terminator franchise is that people travel through time to change the past. The resistance has a super weapon that will simple shut off the machines-- when they have the chance to deploy, they do not. Why? Likely because of Terminator Salvation II. Worst of all-- when they find Wright and discover that he's all fleshy on the outside and geary on the inside, Connor goes back to his mother's tapes. He was was never prepared for this. WTF? Didn't Connor hitch a ride with Arnie in Terminator II and III ? How could he not know that Terminator impersonate people? At the end of the movie, there is a stupid plot point introduced and then resolved. It's all sentimental and ridiculous. Go for the thrills, the explosions and super cool robots-- but put your brain in offline mode before seeing Terminator: Salvation.

**

Anacondas 4: Trail of Blood

2009-05-26T08:06:00.000-07:00

This movie picks up from the events of Anacondas III. A scientist has perfected a hybrid of a Black Orchid that is capable of delivering total regeneration. Unfortunately, his anaconda test subject gains the ability to regenerate and grow to massive size. Three groups land in the same locale in the Carpathian Mountains of Eastern Europe: Amanda, a botanist (Crystal Allen) returns to happen upon a student walking in the woods; an archaeology team digging into the mountains; and mercenaries, dispatched by a dying billionaire, Murdoch, played by John Rhys-Davies (oh, Gimli... you'll do anything for money). No one is here for the snakes, but that's what they get-- plenty of poorly animated sequences with the giant Anaconda-- it's so bad it's cartoonish. The behavior of the snake is amusing-- it knows not to kill people except when killing them creates the best ironic justice. Don't even ask how a cold-blooded killing machine can thrive in the chilly mountains of Eastern Europe; or how the snake keeps popping back from total destruction like a video game character.
This movie was made back-to-back with Anacondas III, but it lacks the star power of David Hasselhoff. This movie saw its first life on the Sci-Fi Channel like its last installment. The franchise started in the late in the 1990s with some heavy star power and has sunk to this point. Basically, the movie amounts to lots of running around, some gun play, one or two clever moments, shots of bad CGI snakes and some shots set in snako-vision. By having three groups with competing agendas and throwing some guns into the mix, there is some manufactured drama and action. Shot in daylight with telegraphed moves its direction saps almost all of the suspense out of this topic. It doesn't need to be this mediocre, but it is. The best way to survive this movie is at 1.5 times speed. It then takes on a comical, Keystone Coppers / Benny Hill quality that makes it much more enjoyable. (Recommended audio track: Yakety Sax.).
When you're reaching for Anacondas 4 on the DVD shelf, veer left and grab the much better first in the series from 1997.

*

Star Trek (2009)

2009-05-26T08:05:00.000-07:00

Prequels are so hot-- that 15 minutes at the start of the first Lord of the Rings movie where the armies of Orcs battled Elves and Men could have last for an hour and nobody would have cared. Star Trek began even before the career of its iconic leader, Capt. James T. Kirk, but you missed those first meetings: Kirk meeting Spock, McCoy and the others. Now you can see the genesis of Kirk from his birth through to his ascent to the Captain's chair. This is a story of the Romulan, Nero (Eric Bana), out for vengeance vs. Federation. But Kirk's nemesis is actually Spock. Spock is a sticklier for order and logic-- Kirk is a bad boy and rebel. Can the two bond? They're the ultimate odd couple.

In the original series, Kirk is a super student, "a pile of books with legs" who rises quickly through the ranks with Kirk-like style. JJ's Kirk is a lucky-- falling ass backwards into the First Officer job on Enterprise after being smuggled aboard. Just in time for the climax of the movie, Kirk is maneuvered into the Captain's seat. Along the way, Kirk hits on Uhura, meets the helmsman and navigator, Chekov and Sulu, and finds Scotty languishing on remote Delta Vega. Delta Vega-- an icy planet in the interstellar hinterland but close to the hot arid Vulcan. There is no big secret to the big surprise element: Leonard Nimoy reprises his role as Spock. Future Spock comes back into the past in a key plot device that also allows the book of Star Trek to be rewritten from the start without getting lots of fan's underroos in a knot. The cast ranges from modest to strong: Captain Pike was in command of the ship in the original pilot. He is brought back as the captain of this Enterprise and is well played by Bruce Greenwood. Karl Urban is eerie as Doctor McCoy played by the late DeForrest Kelly. Yelchin delivers as good a performance as he can manage though weighed down with most of the bad lines in the movie. Cho does his own incarnation of Sulu-- different from his predecessor but still maintaining that spark. The two big roles: Zachary Quinto as Spock delivers a good performance but it's not the same. Chris Pine as Kirk really doesn't do it for me. Shatner has this careful talent for being an a-hole. He showed it off in his portrayal of Kirk. It carries a tenacity and daring that makes you root for his character. Chris Pine doesn't have it. Can he develop it? I don't know.

Plot holes, incongruities and bad science abound-- just like regular Trek. The look of JJ's Trek is good but where before everything looked sterile and cardboard, this Trek has a smooth ethereal bridge but the engineering section looks like a pipe factory and showroom. That mix of messy and smooth keeps taking you in and out of the esthetics of the future. Star Trek is low Q but high thrills. If you can surive the lapses and nitpicking elements, the story is captivating-- a roller coaster ride that almost makes you get up at the end and say, "Again! Again!"

****

X-Men Origins : Wolverine

2009-05-09T22:19:00.001-07:00

You can't know about how terrible Wolverine is without getting the spoilers.
Wolverine is mediocre from an action movie perspective. From a comic fan perspective it's a nightmare. From a storytelling perspective, this is the worst movie I've seen in a long time. There are plot holes you could fit the Blackbird through. Some "highlights": Wolverine was born in the Northwest Territories in the 1830s. We see him in a large home from the era-- after he kills his father with his bone claws, he escapes into the nearby forest (Forests in the tundra? Really?). From there, James Logan and his brother, Sabretooth fight in every war-- every American war: the Civil War, World War I, WWII, Vietnam. At one point his brother goes nuts in a Vietnamese village, Logan defends him and the two end up in front of the firing squad. After that, Col. William Stryker give them the chance to serve their country. So is Stryker Canadian and Canada is fighting in Vietnam? Or did two bloodthirsty mutants get their green cards? They join an elite force that goes on their first mission to Nigeria (a sprawling Lagos that looks more like LA) in search of a mystery metal from an meteorite-- an ore that contributes to adamantium. They find some of the metal, then go to a small village and demand more of the meteorite. The villagers refuse, the strike force starts to kill them and Logan refuses to take part. He walks out on them and heads into the jungle. Six years later, Logan has a good woman and a job as a lumberjack (very Canadian), living in the Rockies. Stryker finds him and tell him that his brother has gone crazy, killing members of their elite force. Eventually Sabretooth gets to Logan's woman and apparently kills her. Logan goes crazy, they duke it out, Sabretooth buries Logan under a bunch of logs and leaves him for dead. Logan is brought in for medical treatment and Stryker's offers Logan "more pain than he'll ever endure" and he will become indestructible. Logan agrees. They sink him in a tank of water, then they inject a dozen hypodermic things into Logan. They pump adamantium into him in what is obviously a liquid metal state (ouch! hot!) and plumes of smoke and steam rise from the tank. So, the human body has over 200 bones. This liquid metal is pumped in and it automatically finds all of the little bones (except the teeth). It also bonds to the Logan's claws. In their bony state they look like sharp finger bones-- these adamantium claws come out looking like sharpened knives which is a good thing since adamantium is indestructible and cannot be sharpened. That's one of those great comic book moments where reality doesn't enter into the equation. Within moments, Wolverine escapes and runs naked to a nearby farm. The elderly couple (I think they may be the Kents) befriend the naked superhero-- wait, it's that another movie? Wolverine picks up his signature jacket, some clothes and a sweet motorcycle. No sooner than does he pick this up, then one of his former team mates, Agent Zero, blows apart the farmstead, with Wolverines bursting from the fireball on his new hog. He leads the helicopter on a chase in some of these ridiculous situations: the helicopter gives the sharpshooter a literal birds-eye view of Wolverine and still he can't mow him down. Wolverine tricks a hummer into crashing and taking out the helicopter. It's nice to know that there were hummers in the late 1970s/early 1980s. The chopper is a flaming twisted wreck but Wolverine can still deliver some choice words to his would-be assassin before it's all over. The very next scene, Stryker opens up a box with a special pistol and eight adamantium bullets-- the only thing that can penetrate Wolverine's new metallic skull. Do you think he could have handed over that box to the sharpshooter, Agent Zero? Does Stryker think he can kill Wolverine? No-- his plan is to shoot Wolverine in the head and give him amnesia. That's actually his plan.
Wolverine teams up with Wraith (Will I Am) and they go to New Orleans to find the only man who ever escaped Stryker's clutches: a super lucky superhero, Gambit (Taylor Kitsch). In the meantime, Sabretooth has tracked down Scott Summers (Cyclops) and he is taken into custody. Then Sabretooth gets to New Orleans just in time to kill of Wraith leaving his loner brother, Wolverine to go to "The Island" with the help of Gambit. The Island is Three Mile Island. I thought, "Sweet! Tie the meltdown into the events of the movie." Nope.Stryker is holding a bevvy of mutants in storage and in cells. He's also holding Wolverine's woman who faked her death to trick Wolverine into doing his life changing procedure. He is doing experiments to create a super mutant by fueling Ryan Reynolds' character with all of the best superheroes (why not just find Sylar?). The end result is Deadpool. Wolverine mounts a breakout of the mutants-- luckily Cyclops' eyes are still covered so he never breaks the continuity. When the escapees get to the surfaceProfessor X is standing there with a helicopter ready to scoop up the mutants. Back to Wolverine, he's planning on blowing up the facility, so he gets to the top of one of the cooling towers.Sabretooth comes after him. When he's done beating Sabretooth, Deadpool teleports in (he had that power in his bag of tricks). Sabretooth decides that blood is thicker than water and teams up with Wolverine to try to beat Deadpool. They eventually win by cutting his head off. In a visually stunning but stupid moment, decapitated Deadpool falls into the cooling tower his eyes beaming out Cyclops' optic blasts from his eyes cutting the tower apart and raining down destruction.Stryker has a showdown with Wolverine, shoots him with in the head and has the desired amnesia effect (swell how that works). Wolverine emerges from this with two holes in his otherwiseimpenetrable skull and a couple bullets rattling around in there. He doesn't know who he is. Wolverine has to walk the Earth in search of his carefully excised memories.
At points this movie is exciting. Any two minute period of this movie is awesome. Put a couple of those segments together and a pattern emerges: this is a bad movie with great visuals. Almost everyone iscompetent in their roles: good acting, great production values and decent direction. The problem is the script: it's peppered with logic holes, bad decisions and dialogue too lousy to put into a comic book. Writers David Benioff and Skip Woods who wrote such contenders as Hitman, Troy and similar are key to the action packed train wreck of X-Men Origins: Wolverine.

**

Watchmen (2009 - Warner Brothers)

2009-03-16T21:18:00.000-07:00

In this alternate version of our history, masked heroes have fought for justice since the 1940s. By the 1980s, masked vigilantes have been outlawed and the world is teetering on the brink of nuclear war. The superhero Dr. Manhattan emerged in 1959 with the ability to control time, space and matter. As America's champion, Dr. Manhattan has triggered an arms race vs. the Soviets. They are trying to stockpile enough weapons to counter an omnipotent superman. When one of the few sanctioned heroes, the Comedian, is killed, an outlaw hero, Rorschach, investigates. He feels that something bigger is happening: he thinks someone is hunting for masked heroes. His former comrades have retired and moved on. Rorschach tries to warn the Watchmen and probe for answers. Billionaire and former hero, AdrianVeidt , is targeted by a gunman. Dr. Manhattan is linked to several cases of cancer among his colleagues and flees the Earth in a fit of upset. Rorschach himself is set-up, arrested and put into a prison full of former enemies with scores to settle. The stage is set for Armageddon and only the Watchmen can save the world.

I was awestruck by Watchmen in 1989. Alan Moore put the superhero genre on its head with such fantastic works as Miracleman and Swamp Thing. The superhero team-up was a staple of comics: Legion of Superheroes, The Avengers, The X-Men, not to mention the painfulSuperfriends . Alan Moore took these people apart, looked at what made them tick and put them back together as dysfunctional as they were heroic. It gave these characters a realism missing from most of the other comics on the shelves. I immediately thought that this would be a fantastic, butunfilmable movie-- 300+ pages of comic books could not be condensed into a single movie. I was not alone in that opinion. Hollywood played hot potato with the Watchmen project for years. Eventually it landed in the lap of Zack Snyder. Snyder was the director of 300: the graphic novel by Frank Miller. Snider made it into loud, violent, dreamlike cut-sequence of a movie; but it worked. 300 was largely shot against green screens. That helped make the dreamlike feel of 300 and it was a concern that Snyder would use the same tool set and make Watchmen closer to Sin City than Dark Knight. Thankfully, that is not the case: the movie is wonderfully gritty and dark in its tone, but vivid and alive like a four-color comic. The movie lends heavily from the comic book scenes like the panels from the comics could be onion skinned over the footage. Set in the mid-1980s, Watchmen is seeped in the culture of the day: the look, the fashions, the technology and the music. Apart from Snider's panache and the modern day aesthetic in the superhero costumes, you'd swear this movie was made in the 1985.

The Batman role of a psychopath with gadgets and a hunger for justice is split out into two key characters. Night Owl gets the cape, the gadgets and a cool cave. His character, played by Patrick Wilson, more-or-less takes up the role of the central protagonist in what is otherwise an ensemble piece. Rorschach has the tortured childhood, the Machiavellian mindset and the gravelly voice of a man who needs to be taken seriously. Jackie Earle Haley is awesome in his role. Matthew Goode plays Adrian Veidt, the billionaire wunderkind and perfect figure of humanity. The Comedian (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) populates flashbacks as a young and vicious crime-fighter; then later as a bloodthirsty dark hero on the CIA payroll; and finally as an old but powerful man. Morgan makes the character coherent-- still evil, but a little close to being understandable. The most complex and otherworldly character is Dr. Manhattan, voiced by Billy Crudup, who also was the figure for the motion capture. It's a significant disconnect that a likable everyman is the basis for glowing blue naked transcendental being. A little part of me kept thinking that Dr. Manhattan was about to say, "Cost of watch repair: $10. Intrinsic field sub-tractor: $2 billion dollars. Being able to reassemble yourself from subatomic particles: priceless." Silk Spectre I is played by Carla Gugino, who plays the mother of Silk Spectre II, played by Malin Akerman. One criticism of the original story and this adaptation is that the women fill weak roles as largely sexual objects or literal targets. Akerman's character does get to exhibit more range and more pivotal role. I don't know if this anti-feminist element could have been repaired and still keep some of the key plot points intact. In one incarnation of Watchmen, the role of Dr. Manhattan was going to be by Schwartzeneggar. Star power would have wrecked this movie. Instead they casted the players who best fit the characters from the comic as part of a chorus. In some cases, the similarity of the actors to their comic book counterparts is uncanny.

There was no way to jam every last detail from the comic into movie. The two mediums are different and nobody would want a 4 hr. version of the movie that included all of the minutiae. The ending from the comic book has been eclipsed by 20 years of stories that lended from the idea. Kept as is, it would have looked hokey. This alternative ending isn't perfect, but it's a good compromise to keep the same gist of the story resolution. I had serious doubts that this movie could have been pulled off. I was happily surprised in this film making triumph.

****

Newspapers, Pennies, Cardboard & Eggs by Roger Yepsen ( Rodale, 2007)

2009-03-01T17:57:00.000-08:00

For something that is supposed to be relaxing, gardening can be a frustrating hobby. Happily, this engaging book is full of both new and time-tested tips and advice for every gardener -- whether you are planting a few vegetables in containers or landscaping a large yard. It's just as useful to seasoned gardeners as to those just getting started.

Tips range from above-ground potato growing to deer-proofing your garden to building a rock retaining wall. All of them are written in a casual manner and most fit on a single page making it an easy book to pick up and put down or just browse through.

****

My personal taste in music.

2009-02-27T15:57:00.000-08:00

We don't often post music reviews here but if you are interested in seeing the kind of music I listen to, I've posted a list of 25 albums that influenced me on my personal blog, Flotsam & Jetsam.

The list includes these albums:

Coraline in 3D (Focus/Laika/Alliance 2009)

2009-02-07T19:21:00.000-08:00

Coraline is a young girl whose parents always seem to be too busy for her. To make matters worse, she is stuck living in an old house with strange neighbours in the adjoined suites. Having just moved in, her mother suggests that she passes the time unpacking; her father absently suggests that she explore the new house, counting all the windows and doors. She decides to do the latter which leads to the discovery of a strange, locked door in the front room. When she unlocks it, she finds only a brick wall on the other side.

Later, however, the door opens to quite a different place, a place that is familiar and yet, better. Her "other" parents dote on her and make sure she is always happy. She is confused but happy and has no idea at first how much is really at risk.

Coraline is based on the best-selling book by Neil Gaiman. While the plot stays fairly true to the original text, additional characters have been added to explain things which, in the book, were left to the reader to figure out. Happily, though, the movie is just as tense and scary as the book -- scary enough that many reviewers are suggesting it is not suitable for young children. Our not-quite-8 year-old accompanied us, however, and loved it but we also took her to see Tim Burton's Corpse Bride in the theatre at age 5.

Technically, Coraline is a wonder to watch. Filmed in stop-motion animation on sets filled with hand-crafted wonders, there is far too much in each scene to take in during a single viewing. Coraline is also being released in 3D format (which we saw) which can be a bit disorienting but is a good fit for this movie. I will admit that I am not a huge fan of 3D as a rule but it is used well here, giving dimension to her world rather than making the audience jump.

Often, animated films depend on good vocal performances and the actors here did a fine job. Terri Hatcher was ideally cast as the mother/other mother and what the other mother turns into and Spink and Forcible were played perfectly by Dawn French and Jennifer Saunders.

Overall, this film is well-worth seeing on the big screen. It may scare small children but most will be fine and a few may even want to read the book which I highly recommend.

****

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon

2008-11-14T13:37:00.000-08:00

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time begins with a murder but not the usual kind; the victim is a dog. Christopher, who lives across the street, decides he wants to find out who killed the dog but Christopher is not your average fifteen year old either. He is unable to read people's emotions, is easily overwhelmed by sensations and information, and does not like brown or yellow foods. He goes to a special school, too, where his instructor encourages him to write a book about his search for the person who killed the dog.

I tried to describe this book to someone who had never heard of it and the closest comparison I could make was that it read like one of those small British character-driven films. It doesn't necessarily go anywhere, it just puts the reader into the protagonist's shoes for a while.

Readers who are bored by math and physics may want to steer clear of this one as Christopher uses math to clear his head and as a result several chapters outline some famous and not-so-famous math problems. There is also some very strong language used in the book, so parents who worry about that may not want to offer this one to younger teens.

Cautions aside, Curious is a challenging, touching, and ultimately sweet book that is suitable not just for teens and young adults but also for grownups.

****

TV worth watching again and again

2008-10-12T09:17:00.000-07:00

Some television shows are worth watching more than once and some can be enjoyed many viewings later. Comedies tend to hold up best -- from classics like I Love Lucy to more recent hits like Seinfeld to British imports like Fawlty Towers -- but sci-fi shows have a place in many collections, too.

Here's five shows no collection should be without and a couple of personal faves thrown into the mix:

1. Firefly. Cancelled before it's time, this sci-fi/space western works on many levels -- it has action, drama, mystery, a little romance and lots of comedy. Buy the complete series on DVD; if you like it, you'll also want to get Serenity, the feature film released after the show's cancellation.

2. Fawlty Towers. Join Basil Fawlty (John Cleese) as he tries to run a hotel in Torquay. There's only a dozen episodes but each one is laugh-out-loud funny. Buy the complete series on DVD; if you like it, you may also want to get A Fish Called Wanda which has nothing to do with Fawlty Towers except that it features one of Cleese's finest comedic turns.

3. Arrested Development. Possibly the most dysfunctional family ever brought to the screen, the Bluths lack ethics, business sense, common sense, and common decency, but they do stick together. Buy Season 1, Season 2 and Season 3 on DVD.

4. The Office. As funny as the British original was, the American remake starring Steve Carrell is even funnier. If you've ever had to do time in a white collar ghetto, this show will make you cringe with some of the close-to-home moments and laugh at the over-the-top antics. Get started with Seasons 1-4 collected on DVD.

5. How I Met Your Mother. If you laughed with Friends in the 90s, you owe it to yourself to check out the most recent group of twenty-something New Yorkers to yuk-it-up on the small screen. While the whole cast is solid, Neil Patrick Harris regularly steals the scene as the womanizing Barney. Season 4 just started in fall 2008 but you can get up to speed with Season 1, Season 2 and Season 3 on DVD.

6. Blackadder. Everyone I know who likes this Britcom has a favourite season; the same cast surround a character named Edmund Blackadder (Rowan Atkinson) during the Middle Ages, the Elizabethan Era, Regency England and the First World War. Buy the complete series on DVD.

7. Battlestar Galactica. It amazes me that the seed of a bad seventies space opera could be reimagined into one of the grittiest most politically charged dramas in recent years. Miles away from the original, if you've steered clear of this for it's name association, forget all that and go buy the series: Season One, Seasons 2.0 and 2.5, Season Three and while you're at it, you may want to add Razor, the 2-hour movie/episode that tells the tale of the Pegasus.

8. Doctor Who. Another reborn sci-fi series, the most recent incarnation of this classic features better effects and a great cast with plenty of creepy aliens, robots and time-travel quandries. My only hesitation in recommending this great series its cost -- usually over $100 per season. Buy the Complete First and Second Series, Third Series, and Fourth Series on DVD.

Ten Favourite Movies made Before I was Born

2008-09-27T13:28:00.001-07:00

You'll notice some "great" movies missing from this list -- such as Citizen Kane -- and while there are many older movies I appreciate, I can't watch them over and over like the ten here. These are movies I have seen multiple times and that I still love to watch; I've numbered them, but they are not necessarily in order:

1. The Wizard of Oz (1939). Yes, it's cheezy and melodramatic and kitchy, but I still watch it at least once a year. A few years ago, I saw it at Cinecenta -- the first time I had watched it in a darkened theatre on a full-size screen and the tornado sequence was so much more frightening! If you've never seen it on the big screen, I highly recommend tracking it down at a repertoire theatre.

2. The Apartment (1960). This film was full of surprises for me and, while it is very dated now, it's somehow still relevant. I think this was the first Billy Wilder film I saw and certainly the first time I had seen Fred MacMurray in a darker role (I was used to seeing him on My Three Sons and in Disney films). I also finally understood why Jack Lemmon and Shirley MacLaine were stars.

3. The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951). Sure, Gort looks pretty non-threatening to today's viewers, but the brilliance in this film is the script. It's solid sci-fi and serves as a great overview of Cold War paranoia.

4. The Italian Job (1969). OK, so this was technically released the year I was born, but I'm confident that it was made before I was born and there's no way I would have seen it in the theatre. There is so much brilliance in this film -- Michael Caine is in fine form, the sequence with the Minis was brilliantly coordinated, and the ending? That's just movie gold. The "remake" from 2003 is a pathetic shadow of this movie and should be avoided at all costs.

5. The Odd Couple (1968). I never watched the TV show so I only begrudgingly bothered to watch this film the first time around. Turns out, it's hilarious and I frequently quote the characters. Full credit has to be given to Neil Simon's screenplay at the core of this film but also to the great performances by the lead and supporting cast.

6. Pillow Talk (1959). Possibly the finest example of a screwball romantic comedy with Rock Hudson and Doris Day giving some of their best performances. If you liked Down With Love, this movie is required viewing -- several scenes are almost shot-for-shot in homage; the reverse is also true!

7. The Desk Set (1957) Spencer Tracy and Katherine Hepburn spar when a computer is introduced into the fact-checking department at a newspaper. Librarians are still facing off against Google and this movie still makes me giggle for that reason.

8. Mr. Blandings Builds his Dream House (1948). Every time we consider building a house, this movie runs through my head. Cary Grant has an intense job with an ad agency and an apartment full of women so they decide to buy a house in the country. Turns out the house is falling down so they decide to build-to-suit. Despite the laughably low prices for real estate and construction and the rather offensive caricature that is Gussie, the family housekeeper, this movie is very watchable and very funny.

9. Singing in the Rain (1952). I don't consider myself a fan of musicals, but this is the second one on my list. Debbie Reynolds sparkles and Donald O'Connor cracks me up every time plus it contains some of the most recognizable Hollywood musical songs.

10. Rope (1948). Really tough call between this one and Rear Window (1954); both feature James Stewart in strong Hitchcock films but Rope is just that much darker and that much more masterful. Actually, they make a good double feature if you can handle the tension!

X Saves the World by Jeff Gordinier (Viking Press 2008)

2008-08-17T11:32:00.000-07:00

Jeff Gordinier is unflinching in X Saves the World: How Generation X Got the Shaft but Can Skill Keep Everything from Sucking. The book is as much a call to action for Generation X as it is a rant about the generations between which it is sandwiched -- the ubiquitous Boomers and the up-and-coming Millennials (aka Generation Y).

Gordinier echoes demographers' arguments about the parameters of Generation X while adding another level by suggesting, via Douglas Coupland, that Generation X is as much a mindset as a birthdate. He is also careful to admit that he is making broad generalizations throughout the book and that being born during a given year does not automatically make one fall into step with everyone else born that year.

That said, no matter how you slice the Gen X pie, I fall squarely into the demographic both by birth and by attitude. I'm not sure how non-Xers would react to this book; likely call us all whiners and write it off as more gloom but the crazy thing is, there's a lot of hope in this book. It feels a lot like the end of V for Vendetta; I won't spoil the ending but I left the theatre feeling an overwhelming sense that change -- real change -- was achievable.

There were sections I skimmed -- personally, I could care less about Nirvana but Gordinier hangs an awful lot of his book on the impact of both "Smells Like Teen Spirit" and also on Kurt Cobain's suicide. I also skimmed Gordinier's take on the Poetry Bus -- something I had never heard of prior to this book and will not bother to research further.

On the other hand, I reveled in his descriptions of the internet boom and bust, about the movies and the directors who speak for and to our generation, and about Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart who brought Generation X's brand of subversive humour to the main stage.

Throughout X Saves the World, I found myself laughing ("By 1999 a fecal tide of suckitude, suckness, and suckronicity was upon us..."¹), nodding (oh, yeah, I have definitely encountered the "grey ceiling"), and making note of suggested ways I could help keep my world from sucking.

****

------------
¹ Introduction, p. xxiv

Clone Wars: My take on the latest from a Galaxy Far Far Away

2008-08-09T20:48:00.000-07:00

I thought I could super-spoiler the Clone Wars movie or I could do a review. I did both.
Clone Wars is aimed at the Kiddie Set. Instead of the scroll that we've seen at least six times before (several video games in the license have used this too), we get a cheezy news reel narration. Instead of subtitling Jabba, people react and his protocol droid occasionally steps in. Rather than aim for the kid-lit crowd, Clone Wars aims for pre-lit crowd. While all of theSepartist gizmos (robots, vehicles, weapons) are on parade; the Republic side is sparse: Clone Troopers, Navy, a few Jedi and Padme for good measure. A nice small cast that even a six-year old could remember (that's handy for when they go intoToys'R'Us the next day). There is a real video game feel to this movie. It feels like you have a bunch of challenges to overcome: some fighting based, some logic based. If a video game isn't imminent, it could be knocked off in a weekend by pulling CGI models, clips for cut sequences and a couple of light saber shaped health meters. At times, I think I saw my score climbing as I watched the film.

The fight scenes are amazing-- on par with any of the movies. The movie is high on action, low on plodding political intrigue. The movie feels like the 2-D TV series of shorts, popped into the third dimension-- almost like thatSimpsons Halloween episode where Homer gets pulled into the third dimension. In an interesting budget-saving device: holograms are used very frequently. I have to think that is for economy: why render a character in all of their shades, when you can just draw them in shades of blue. While the foreground characters have that animation detail doled on them, background characters look like they're just being dragged across the background by some intern who thinks his days at Skywalker Ranch are numbered.

The soundtrack of Star Wars is memorable. My daughter hums the Imperial March. The symphonic feel of the music is gone. Tiny snippets of John Williams-esque music can be heard. In its place, the drum, string, flute melodies that are close to the incidental music from the Battlestar Galactica TV series. As this is not a Fox joint, but a Warner Brothers release: I have to wonder what was tied up in legal tangles and could not be moved out from the clenches of Rupert Murdoch.

Almost the whole voice cast are animation people or up-and-coming actors. Samuel L. Jackson and Christopher Lee voice Mace Windu and Dooku respectively (keep getting thosepaycheques, boys). Ahsoka Tano is voiced by Ashley Eckstein who fits the voice to the role. She has that aggravating quality that kids will find endearing. What is "fun" (I cannot believe I am about to write this): the troopers are extra New Zealand-y. BecauseJango Fett was originally voiced by Temuera Morrison, Clone Troopers have that accent-- I was expecting them to say, "Load up the Lorry, we're off to the beach, mates!" It worked. You can tell that the Troopers get bored on those trips through hyperspace; and they're tired of saying "No, I'm Trooper-3263827-- you're thinking of Trooper-03003817659." They're all sporting different haircuts (colors and styles)-- again a nice touch-- as a clone with 10,000,000 copies of me wandering around I would like likely try to make myself look a little unique.

All-in-all: this movie is for the pre-teen set, die-hard super obsessed fans and people who like decent animation. Please park yourstormtrooper outfit at the door-- you won't be able to sit down and you'll delay the start of the movie, you geek.

Clone Wars : The Plot in all its Spoiler Glory

2008-08-09T20:32:00.000-07:00

Highlight to read: almost all of this post is a spoiler:

The film opens with the familiar "Long Time Ago... In a Galaxy Far Far Away..." and then jumps into the action: a montage of the Clone Troopers battling the Separatists. It turns out that the Outer Rim territories where the Kamino cloning facilities where is cut off from the Republic, so there is a shortage of Troopers. TheHutt clan (led by Jabba the Hutt) controls the shipping in the Outer Rim. Someone has kidnapped the Hutt's son. Jabba The Hutt makes a plea to Chancellor Palpatine for aid-- somehow a giant slug at the rim of the galaxy has the leader of a trillion people on speed-dial. Palpatine ask Mace Windu and Yoda for help. As luck would have it, they have two Jedi available: Obi-wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker. They are on the planet "Christophsis" having won out against the robot armies-- but communications have been broken. They relay a message to a Republic fleet at a staging area. In a geek-treat moment, we get to see Republic Navy officers-- somewhere on the evolutionary path towards the Imperial Navy. It turns out that Christophsis has not been secured. Anakin and Obi-wan need to lead their diminishing number of troopers vs. the robots. The droids are led by Whorm Loathsom, who looks the love child of Watto and a tusked-boar. A great battle ensues with heavy casualties on both sides. The robots fall back in time for a Republic transport to land and deposit a special messenger, a young Torgruta girl, Asoka Tano. It turns out she is an apprentice-- a padawan-- for Anakin Skywalker. The Jedi council decided that the irreverent Asoka is a match for the irreverent Skywalker. The robot army has fallen back to deploy a massive shield-- an expanding hemisphere that keeps the droids safe at they advance. Skywalker hatches a genius plan. He and Asoka hide under a box in the path of the force field. When the army and field overtake then, they are safely behind enemy lines. While on her first day on the job, she and Skywalker sneak to the shield generator. They plant explosives. They trigger a number of barrel like droids that battle the two Jedi. In a page from Buster Keaton, Asoka uses the force to bring down a wall on the droids surrounding Anakin, leaving him safe in the hole in the wall. Meanwhile, back at the battle, the troopers have been picked off. Kenobi is surrounded and surrenders. He tricks Whorm Loathsom into negotiating the terms of the Republic surrender. This a ploy to kill time so that Anakin and Asoka can bring down the shield and luckily so that Yoda and re-enforcements can arrive. Almost instantly, they start using nicknames for one another: "Snips" and "Skyguy" (guess which is which).

Yoda instructs Anakin and Asoka to find and rescue the Huttling. Kenobi goes to bargain with Jabba the Hutt. Rotta the Hutt is held by Asajj Ventress, pupil of Dooku. Whoever designed Ventress for this film came off of an Angelina Jolie binge (bee-sting lips, sultry voice). I was expecting Ventress to admit that this wasn't a kidnapping, but a botched adoption, then try to adopt Asoka. She is holed-up on PlanetTeff in a Bohmarr Monastery (man, I bet those walking hookas are regretting never getting door-lock or firearm technology perfected-- it seems like everyone loves to take them over and move in). Helping her is an assortment of droids and a weaselly droid, 4A-7. The Republic forces go to Teff. The monastery is high on a butte; so the Jedi and troopers have to mount a vertical assault-- it makes for a great visual. The droids-- largely B1 droids-- are defaulting the monastery courtyard. They are amazingly stupid-- almost Jar-Jar stupid. At the top, Anakin mows down most of the remaining droids and leaves the troopers to mop up. 4A-7 comes out and feigns gratitude for the rescue. Anakin and Asoka go into the monastery to the detention level [a) Why does a monastery have a detention level? Do people pepper their quiet contemplation with assault and battery? b) I want a detention level!]; they know it's a trap. They dispatch some very dumb B1 droids and make it to the cell where Hutt's baby boy, Rotta. I was thinking this would be a douche-bag heir apparent of Jabba. Instead, it's an infant: a bowling ball with arms, a tail and a maw. Rotta is sick, adding to the urgency of getting him back to his parents-- of course I say "parents" but in sci-fi tradition, there is no sign of Momma the Hutt-- underlining that popular premise that females are there to be dying mothers, spunky hard-to-get-girlfriends or marketing ploys. For Ventress and Dooku, this is all part of the trap. They want to frame the Jedi for the death of Rotta. The droid army springs out of hiding (how is it that the security staff on my way in to see this movie could scan me for the presence of a camera; but the Republic forces cannot scan a planet for robots?) and attack the Clone Troopers. Anakin, R2 and Asoka find a way down to a secret launch pad. Once down there, Ventress pounces on them and the droids attack. They need to escape, but they don't have a ride. Beneath the landing pad is a nest of giant 10 meter long dragon-fly-type insects. Asoka spies a ship on a nearby landing pad on another butte. ~~I hit X-A-X~~ Anakin and Asoka hitch a ride from one of these insects, while R2 jets behind them. They get to the other landing pad. 4A-7 is there loading his ship for departure with the help of some B1 droids. All of the robots are deactivated with extreme prejudice. Anakin tries to get the ship ready to go. Reinforcements have arrived just in time again. Kenobi goes into the monastery in search of Ventress. The two of them get into a pitched light saber battle (yawn). As this movie is the kick-off for the TV-series; and Return of the Sith showed Dooku sans Ventress, the writing is on the wall. Someone has to be the bad guy-- er, girl-- for the TV series and eventually die-- but not today. She escapes in the nick of time (she'll be back.... she'll be back...).

Senator Amidala comes into the Chancellor's office to discover that Anakin will be doomed if the Hutts think the Jedi betrayed them. She asks to plead with Jabba directly and Palpatine is against the idea. She suggests that she talks to Ziro TheHutt who live in Coruscant (in the "Old Town" sector-- on a city that covers a whole planet, what is that? Is Old Town the size of Europe?). She goes down to this place that looks like a speakeasy-- with a Thith band doing Swing music. Ziro: he's sort of a cross between Jabba theHutt and Truman Capote, with body tattoos compliments of Prince. Amidala pleads her case and Ziro promises to take it to Jabba. Before she leaves, she spots that one of Ziro's droids is armed with a B1 issue blaster. She dashes back to Ziro's room to overhear theHutt and Dooku (who is popping in via hologram) scheme to kill Jabba the Hutt , kill Amidala and let Ziro take over control of the Hutts (--Fab-Ulous!--). She is taken prisoner. B1 droids (aka the "Jar-Jar-Droid" line) trigger here hologram and up pops C-3PO. She calls for his help. Later, near the climax of the story, C-3PO and a squad of Clone Troopers rescue Amidala and capture Ziro.

Anakin and company get their Spice freighter jalopy on course for Tatooine (two questions here: Do people ship anything but Spice? How can Tatooine be a backwater but show up in six out of seven movies?). On Tattooine, Anakinet cetera are attacked by Dooku's droids. They make a crash landing and trek across the Dune Sea to Jabba's Palace. In the meantime, Dooku has whitewashed the Jedi involvement, convincing theHutt that the Jedi have already killed his son.

They formulate a cunning plan: Anakin with a Huttling sized backpack treks into the snare of Count Dooku. They get into a heated battle (if you've seen Revenge of the Sith, you know how this battle has to end). It turns out that the Jedi pulled a fast one. Asoka actually has the Huttling. She encounters three of Dooku's bodyguard droids and fights them. Somehow the plucky apprentice wins versus them. Anakin makes it to Jabba theHutt . He falls into the trap that Dooku has set up. A moment later, Asoka and the Huttling show up. The Hutts a re reunited. Jabba still wants to kill the Jedi (good idea-- Anakin's daughter will eventually do him in). Intervention by Amidala and a confessional Ziro (Fab-Ulous!) changes his viewpoint and he both sets the Jedi free and agrees to allow Republic access through his shipping lanes in the Outer Rim.

All ends well and I'm sure there are more adventures to come (wink wink).

Sublime Stitching and Subversive Seamster

2008-04-20T10:16:00.000-07:00

Crafting and DIY culture is all the rage these days and there are plenty of books to support emerging and weathered crafters; this is a review of two of those books.

First up is Sublime Stitching: Hundreds of Hip Embroidery Patterns and How-To by Jenny Hart (Chronicle Books, 2006). Embroidery is the craft-of-the-moment and every indie crafter worth her salt has been jumping on that bandwagon. I learned basic embroidery way back in eighth grade and have been improving on my skills ever since. I picked up Sublime Stitching thinking it might help me bring my skills up to date since the book I usually reference was written in 1956. Alas, that old book is infinitely more useful than Sublime Stitching which is primarily a book of patterns rather than a reference -- there are only 48 pages of text (including the index and photos) and the remaining leaves are patterns.

I can't even admit to being very inspired by Jenny Hart's designs, but I suppose for someone who can't draw, they would be useful as guides. Personally, I am happy that I took this book out of the library rather than purchase it but only because my skill level seems to exceed that of Sublime Stitching's intended audience.

Next up is Subversive Seamster: Transform thrift store threads into street couture by Melissa Alvarado, Hope Meng and Melissa Rannels (Taunton Press, 2007) which is on the other end of the inspirational scale. With increasing media emphasis on going green Subversive Seamster's message of repurposing thrift store clothing merges the green and DIY/craft movements.

While there are some projects I would never attempt (there is no way at my age that I would wear a skirt made from a football jersey), others (like the bottle wrap made from a sweater sleeve) are no-brainers. The real message of Subversive Seamster however, is that with a little planning, you can make wearable clothing and useful accessories out of even the ghastliest of thrift-store cast-offs; the authors really empower the reader to think outside the seams and get creative.

If you are a needlecrafter, I heartily recommend Subversive Seamster, but only beginners should pick up Sublime Stitching.

Sublime Stitching : **
Subversive Seamster: ****

We're Back!

2008-04-20T10:12:00.000-07:00

First, an apology to our readers for the very long break. We didn't forget you... we've just been busy. Hopefully in the next few weeks we can catch up on some of the many books, games, movies, and other media we've consumed since last fall.

Thanks for standing by.

Dead in the Water (NFB/CBC 2006)

2007-11-07T21:36:00.000-08:00

The question that director Neil Docherty asks on behalf of some of the poorest people around the world is "How can companies buy, sell and trade water, our most basic need?" Dead in the Water boils the answer down to greed, bullying, and a lot of smoke and mirrors.

I'll start by saying that I watched this during a week-long union education school, but it also aired as part of the CBC documentary series The Fifth Estate. Dead in the Water traces much of the global water trouble back to the privatization of public utilities spearheaded by Margaret Thatcher and Ronald Regan in the 1980s. In most cases, water supply and sanitation are tied together in privatization deals but since sanitation provides little or no profit, it is often of little concern to private companies.

Dead in the Water asks a lot of questions and while it does provide a lot of numbers, they don't always answer the questions. On the other hand, the numbers are hard to ignore: 25 per cent of the world's population don't have access to fresh water and every 8 seconds, a child dies from a water-borne illness.

At the end of the film, it's pretty clear that the fight for public water is not over and it's not going to be easy for either side.

****

Buy Dead in the Water through the NFB (National Film Board)

The Automat of Movie Rentals

2007-10-12T12:42:00.000-07:00

We received a flyer today for a new video rental store in the neighbourhood: Niko Video. It seems to be an automated kiosk -- available 24/7 -- that stocks over 1400 movies (new, top rentals, and standard films plus adult titles) in each kiosk.

Films can even be reserved online up to 3 hours ahead of pickup. They advertise rentals as low as a dollar (I presume that's for the not-so-current titles) and are accessed by way of a member card that stores a cash balance (like a gift card); the cost of the rental is simply debited from the balance.

Now I'm curious. Expect a follow-up.

Count Karlstein by Phillip Pullman (Yearling Reprint, 2000)

2007-08-16T14:28:00.000-07:00

This story moves fast and never takes itself seriously for even a paragraph. Like A Series of Unfortunate Events, or many works by Edward Gorey, or even Pullman's later series, Count Karlstein centres on young children in peril. Here, however, it's easy to see the lump in Pullman's cheek as he writes with his tongue firmly planted therein.

From the first time he slinks on to the page, it is clear that Count Karlstein is a villain. In fact, there are few characters in this story who are not painted with outrageously broad strokes, but that is all part of the fun. Young children (and silly adults) should get a kick out of the story which is just scary enough to pull the blanket a little tighter but not enough to put the book down or cause any nightmares.

The story which involves a nefarious plot to sacrifice Karlstein's nieces to a mythical huntsman is told from several perspectives, allowing for the book to remain in the first person while enjoying a more omnipotent flavour.

Night Watch (Fox Searchlight, 2004); Day Watch (Fox Searchlight, 2007)

2007-06-24T15:38:00.000-07:00

Night Watch and Day Watch (now in limited North American release) are the first two installments of a trilogy based on novels by Sergei Lukyanenko. Central to the stories is the existence of "Others" -- vampires, shapeshifters and witches -- who live among humans. These others have long been divided into those who hunt humans (the Dark Others) and those who do not (the Light Others); while not exactly good versus evil, it makes for similar plot points. Those who do not hunt the humans watch the others, by day, night or twilight. What they are watching for is any sign that the balance has been tipped for when that happens, and the truce is broken, war will break out between the groups and no one will be safe.

I was surprised by how much I enjoyed these films. I wouldn't have bothered if I hadn't been tipped off, and even then I will admit that when a friend said to me, "Oh, you have to see this great Russian vampire movie...!" I was skeptical. But one night when I felt like renting "something different" I noticed Nightwatch on the shelf and grabbed it. Since then we bought a copy and when Daywatch came to town, we made sure we were in the audience on the first weekend.

The first thing you'll notice when watching the films in Russian with English subtitles is that the subtitles get into the act. The words crumble or turn to blood or use some other equally clever effect. Under the subtitles are two very entertaining films which use humor and violence as needed to carry along the otherwise dramatic story.

**** 1/2

Buy:

Night Watch (on DVD) at Amazon.ca
Night Watch (paperback) at Amazon.ca
Day Watch (paperback) at Amazon.ca
Twilight Watch (paperback) at Amazon.ca

Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman (Corgi Books, 1991)

2007-06-11T20:43:00.001-07:00

It took me a long time to get to this book, which had been recommended to me by three or four different friends. I've never read any of Terry Pratchett's other works, and if this is representative in any way, I don't think I'll bother. Similarly, like most of Neil Gaiman's works, I love the ideas, the worlds he builds, the alternate realities, but ultimately the writing is not well suited to the page.

Yes, sacrelige, I know. The man (Gaiman) is very entertaining and has a huge following -- myself included, oddly -- but I consistently find that his stories are those of a storyteller and they need to be read aloud. Good Omens is no different.

I love the idea of an angel and a devil, each of whom has adapted to life on earth over a couple thousand years, agreeing to quietly screw up armageddon so that they can maintain their comfortable lives. I even smiled at the many puns and page after page of wordplay. Never have footnotes been more amusing. However, after a few chapters, I just wanted them to get on with it. I'm sure, listening to the story being told, it would have held my interest, but reading it just got tedious.

In the end, it did pick up, and I enjoyed the last few chapters as much as the first; I just could have done without the middle.

***

Drive (Fox, 2007)

2007-04-17T08:39:00.000-07:00

I read the promo and thought, "Huh. It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World, but dramatic," and it turns out I wasn't far off. Take that movie (or Rat Race, the more recent rip off, thereof), add a dash of The Amazing Race and sprinkle liberally with the creepy mystery of Lost and you have Fox's latest serial drama: Drive.

Drive brings together a broad spectrum of people who are participating in an "illegal underground cross-country race" with a rumoured prize of $32 million, but not everyone is racing for the money.

I'll admit, I tuned in to see Nathan Fillion, who played Captain Mal Reynolds on the short-lived but well-loved series Firefly, and Dylan Baker, who is one of my favourite character actors. I also expected to see a complete trainwreck of a show, but I got sucked in, and fast. The fact that there is a huge ensemble cast helps, as does the frantic pace, and the many mysteries to unravel. There's a lot of grey in the characters and the writers are taking their time revealing some of the real reasons or motivators behind each character's participation in the race.

It's set to lead into 24 on Monday nights on Fox and I suspect I will continue to tune in. Like Lost, Desperate Housewives, Prison Break and other serial dramas with a mystery to solve and/or a destination to reach, I can't imagine it being done well past one season but time will tell.

EDIT: After less than 3 weeks on the air, FOX has cancelled this show.

Meet The Robinsons (Disney, 2007)

2007-04-10T22:15:00.000-07:00

At some point along the way, I got sucked into this mostly typical story of an orphan who makes good.

On the surface, there's not much going on in Meet The Robinsons, the story of Lewis, a kid who likes inventing things. After 12 years and 124 interviews at the orphanage, he still hasn't found a family. After a curious series of events, Lewis finds himself in the future with a kid named Wilbur Robinson who seems to be a bit of a conspiracy theorist. I'm not giving you more than three guesses as to who has to save the day but, as I say, at some point I got sucked in enough to get choked up when Lewis inevitably finds the people who adopt him.

While there's a lot of Disney crammed into this movie, there's also a whole lot of William Joyce, who wrote the book on which the film is based. Joyce is all too familiar to parents as the creator of Rolie Polie Olie and George Shrinks, among others. Film buffs might also recognize his name as a concept artist for Toy Story and a producer for Robots. Joyce regularly visits the "world of tomorrow" in his books -- the 1950s version of the future with round swoopy lines, zeppelin-inspired ships, and helpful robots, all in technicolour -- and all of these themes are found throughout The Robinsons.

There are some obvious flaws with the movie. Some of the sequences are too jumpy even for short-attention-span kids, and there might be a few scenes too scary for very young kids. Overall though, it is a family film -- aimed at kids but with a bucketful of tongue in cheek jokes for the parents -- and I was as entertained as my six-year-old. Fans of Joyce's book or his other work will no doubt enjoy Meet the Robinsons.

*** 1/2

Haunted: A Novel by Chuck Palahniuk (Anchor Books, 2006)

2007-02-16T21:37:00.000-08:00

I picked this book up almost cold -- it didn't even have a dust jacket, just a plain grey hardcover book. All I knew about the author was that he had written Fight Club, and I had seen the movie, plus other literate people I knew both read and recommended his books. So when I found Haunted at the United Way Book Sale in the fall, I grabbed it for a mere $2 and then it just sat on my desk until a day I wanted something different to read.

Haunted is certainly different.

Haunted is two, maybe three books in one. There is the novel itself, the basic story of the writers gathered together for a retreat gone wrong; plus there is the collection of short stories that each of the fictional writers tell; and then there's something .... else. Maybe all the talk of ghosts, the gore, the skeletons in everyone's closets, maybe all of that eventually got to me, because by the end I was convinced the story had taken a hairpin turn ducked through a tunnel and somehow returned the way it came. Then again, maybe that's what Palahniuk intended.

Ultimately, this book disappointed me. I kept hoping the next chapter would be different, better, illuminating. Instead each one made me think I'd been duped. Palahniuk clearly likes to play with the reader's head, and I finished reading Haunted, but it was like watching one too many horror films; eventually you start seeing the fake blood and rubber corpses for what they are.

Pan's Labyrinth (Warner Bros. 2006)

2007-01-25T11:22:00.000-08:00

Intense. Brutal. Vivid. Unforgettable.

All of these terms accurately describe Guillermo del Torro's El Laberinto del Fauno, released as Pan's Labyrinth in English. The story, set at the end of the Second World War in Spain, centres around Ofelia, a girl young enough to believe in fairies and old enough to see the danger in her situation. She and her pregnant mother have been brought to live in an old mill in the mountains of rural Spain. It is the base of operations for her stepfather, Captain Vidal, in his fight against the guerilla fighters living in the mountains. The Captain's housekeeper, Mercedes keeps a watchful eye on Ofelia, especially after her mother is confined to bedrest, but it is she who tells Ofelia that the ancient, crumbling labyrinth in the nearby woods has always been there.

The trailers, posters and promotional material all focus on the fantasy side of this film and I worry that some viewers will go in with unfair expectations. While Ofelia does escape into the world of the Labyrinth, she is also firmly rooted in the real, violent, world at war. Writer/director del Torro neither glorifies nor downplays the violence between the soldiers and the guerillas and it is some of these scenes, more than the fantasy sequences, that are burned into my brain with such clarity. There were audible gasps from the audience around me through some of these same scenes.

Pan's Labyrinth is, in the end, a tragedy in the truest sense; there are many deaths but in the end, there is still hope. The theme of destiny runs throughout each of the storylines from the way Ofelia's mother met the Captain to the lives of the guerillas to Ofelia's connection with the Labyrinth.

The creatures of the Labyrinth are at once otherworldly and also completely organic. The centerpice -- the title character -- is Pan, but there are other creatures lurking in and around the Labyrinth, too. Some seem to be entirely digital, others only partly so, but all fit perfectly into the surroundings. Pan is brought to life by two men: actor Doug Jones in an elaborate costume and makeup, plus a pupeteer who manipulates the upper facial features. Considering the dark, creepy look of the fantasy world and the realism of its creatures, it is no surprise that both Best Makeup and Best Art Direction are among the six Academy Award® nominations received.

I hope that people will see this film, not for the promise of a Jim-Henson like world, but for the dark, tragic, memorable film that it is. I hope, too, that the beauty of the film transcends its subtitles (though it is a shame at times to look away from the screen to read them) to find a large international audience.

*****

Wiching Hour Theatre by Craig Shaeffer (Creative Guy Publishing, 2005)

2007-01-23T14:45:00.000-08:00

Witching Hour Theatre takes place inside the fictional Starlight Cinemas, one of those movie houses that run double and triple features for one low price. Larry Wilson is a regular at the "Witching Hour Theatre," the horror film triple feature that runs every Friday at midnight. Larry is a creature of habit, that's pretty clear, but he also has a bit of a crush on Nicole, the girl behind the concession counter. When things start to get a little weird one Friday night, Larry finds himself tangled up in horror film cliches, trying to be Nicole's hero.

Craig Shaeffer knows how to pace a story. At just under 60 pages, Witching Hour is a quick read by any estimation, but it is also a suspenseful page-turner. I read this in an afternoon, not wanting to put it down for longer than it took to refill my coffee. Shaeffer's knowledge of horror films comes through clearly in the story, as does his sense of humour. Like the Scream franchise, Witching Hour's protagonist is aware of typical, overused plot devices in the horror genre, yet can't stop himself from acting the same way when he is in the same situations as characters in movies he ridicules.

Best to read this with the lights on; popcorn optional.

*** 1/2

Buy Witching Hour Theatre chapbook directly from Creative Guy Publishing
Buy Witching Hour Theatre ebook from Fictionwise

Playing By Heart (Miramax, 1998)

2007-01-22T13:38:00.000-08:00

I have to start by confessing that Playing By Heart is one of my very favourite films. I can't give you a clear reason why this should be among the films that I turn to when I want to be entertained, but it has something to do with a very strong ensemble cast and a slightly soapy feel that pays off in the most satisfying way.

I get warm squishy feelings watching the budding relationships between Trent (Jon Stewart) and Meredith (Gillian Anderson) and between Joan (Angelina Jolie) and Keenan(Ryan Phillipe), though the Stewart/Anderson chemistry rings much more true than that of Jolie/Phillipe. Hannah (Geena Rowlands) and Paul (Sean Connery) are preparing to renew their vows but have to get past some skeletons in the closet. While the film does not lack funny lines and sharp dialogue, Paul gets some of the best, delivering one of my favourite lines of all time and espousing some interesting philosophies about the nature of love.

The film is an exception for writer/director Willard Carroll, most of his work has been on childrens' films like The Brave Little Toaster series and Tom's Midnight Garden. It's a shame, too, because he shows a real ear for dialogue and the messy world of romantic relationships. The only big criticism I have is with the timeline. Events seem to take place inside of just a few days, but I suspect they are spread over several weeks.

Did I mention the soap opera feel? It is, at times, very overblown and melodramatic, but at the same time, it is touching and sweet, and even though I have seen it many many times, I still enjoy spending time with the characters, and that says a lot.

****

Sci-Fi Faves

2007-01-02T07:48:00.000-08:00

I thought I would break from the pattern and review a few of my favourite Sci-Fi films. I'm going to ignore the usual top tens and all of the Star Wars, Star Trek, Alien and Matrix franchises. I know that most of these have earned "mixed reviews" but I have watched all of these more than once (most I have watched five times or more).

Here are my faves, in alphabetical order:

Dark City. This one is soooooo under-rated. I love the dark feel, the creepy concept and the payoff. Add to that some fun acting (Keifer Sutherland chews up the scenery as an Igor-type lackey) and you get one of my favourite late-night films.

Demolition Man. OK, this one definitely falls under "guilty pleasure." Sylvester Stallone and Wesley Snipes are a cop and a criminal from the past, who end up duking it out in the future. But I LOVE the version of the future, from the "fast food wars" to the "three shells" there is so much subtle alternate history that I can forgive Stallone and Snipes. Plus a perky Sandra Bullock is the love interest.

Fifth Element, The. Although there are scenes ripped right off from other movies (notably one scene almost frame-for-frame from Heavy Metal), there are also some really original concepts and lots of eye candy. Gary Oldman is right over the top, and Bruce Willis is in perfect form.

Galaxy Quest. If you are a Trek fan, this cheesy meta-film movie is hillarious. Normally I can't stand Tim Allen, but he rocks in the lead. The premise is that a bunch of actors hopelessly typecast from a long-cancelled sci-fi show end up actually being contacted by aliens and travelling to space. Supporting cast includes Alan Rickman, Tony Shaloub and Sam Rockwell.

Lost Skeleton of Cadavera, The. OK, this one is purposely cheesy. An homage to the great B-Movie creature-features of the 1950s, the Lost Skeleton has a monster, aliens, and yes, a talking skeleton, complete with obvious strings attached. If you love B-Movies, you owe it to yourself to rent or even buy this gem.

Mars Attacks!. Yes, it's cheesy ... what else would you expect from Tim Burton, the man responsible for Beetlejuice and Ed Wood? There is some very, very dark humour in Mars Attacks -- starting with the flaming cattle of the opening sequence -- which makes sense once you realize it was inspired by pulp comics from the 1950s.

Minority Report. Oh, how I hate Tom Cruise... but this film transcends his Cruise-ness with another dark, creepy rendition of the very near future. The concept is that Washington DC uses a "pre-crime" unit to stop criminals before they commit their crime -- how do they find a criminal? Using telepaths, of course. Based on a Philip K. Dick novel.

Serenity. This fan-favourite deserves a wider audience. The universe Joss Whedon created for the TV Series Firefly looks pretty good on the big screen; it's much more gritty and realistic than the plastic universes of Star Trek and similar films. The characters are well-rounded and the plot includes nasty aliens, government cover-up, and lots of action; Serenity is what all good sci-fi should aspire to.

Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow. This one got unfairly panned, but its retro feel blended with high-tech delivery make it doubly enjoyable. Giant robots, a mad scientist, a nod to Conan-Doyle's Lost World, a perky reporter, a daring hero and more await you in this adventure that I suspect was intended to launch a franchise.

I Love Your Work (2005, Th!nkfilm)

2006-12-21T09:52:00.000-08:00

"Fifth letter. Stalker??"

Gray Evans (Giovanni Ribisi) is at the top of his acting career -- rich and famous and living a tumultuous life with a beautiful actress, Mia (Franka Potente) -- but underneath the glamour is paranoia and a sense of failure. While his costars read their fan mail, giggling at the writers' sad desperation and earnest belief that they share a connection, Evans barely glances at most of the letters, pausing only to make notes on those from repeat fans whom he suspects could be stalkers. In the meantime, he befriends young wannabe filmmaker John (Joshua Jackson) who reminds Evans of his younger self -- Evans had been in film school prior to acting and left/lost his first love, Shana (Christina Ricci) to be with Mia.

I Love Your Work is full of "art school" techniques with jumpy edits, odd lighting and angles, and creative use of audio (or lack thereof). It is clearly a pet-project for writer/director Adam Goldberg, filled with navel-gazing about fame and fortune, fans and tabloids, and yet I still enjoyed it. The saving grace is Ribisi's performance and the fiery chemistry he shares with Potente on screen. Ribisi builds Evans' paranoia to a fever pitch and then pushes it further; there are few actors who could have believably pulled off the climactic scenes.

Also watch for Jason Lee in a small role. Almost unrecognizable with his hair slicked back and lacking his signature Earl Hickey (My Name is Earl) mustache, he portrays one of Evans' creepier fans.

Bottom line: this is an arty independent film, despite all the star power in the cast, but it is an interesting angle on the price of fame and the world of the celebrity.

*** 1/2

Buy I Love Your Work at Amazon.ca

Jet Li's Fearless (Beijing Film Studios; Rogue Pictures, 2006)

2006-10-06T09:48:00.000-07:00

Jet Li's Fearless (a.k.a. Huo Yuan Jia) is purportedly Jet Li's last martial arts film, though he will continue making American action films. Fearless is loosely based on legendary fighter Huo Yuan Jia, who fought for Chinese pride at a time when Western influence was pervasive. He also had to grow through tragedy before understanding the true meaning of wushu. Jet Li has been quoted many times on the press tour for this film reminding reporters that Wushu actually translates as the art of not fighting or the art of stopping war -- not exactly the typical Western view of martial arts.

Part of Jet Li's reasoning behind making the film was to provide an alternative to the violent revenge films that make up so much of the genre. Instead, Fearless is somehow both action-packed and also a meditation on the significance of wushu. And, I might add, it's a tear jerker, too.

Fearless starts at the climax then shoots back thirty years and moves forward to rejoin the great battle that made Huo Yuan Jia a hero to the Chinese. The fight scenes are beautifully choreographed, elaborate and tense -- everything you could wish for in a martial arts epic. The lessons in the film are obvious, but there's enough action to temper the saccharine.

****

tags: film, review, Fearless, Huo Yuan Jia

Random Acts of Malice, edited by Sharon Grehan (Liason Press, 2005)

2006-08-30T21:51:00.000-07:00

The full title is actually Random Acts of Malice: the best of happy woman magazine. This book looks like a collection of clippings from a typical woman's magazine (think Woman, Good Housekeeping, Family Circle, etc.) albeit with a little more -- no a lot more sarcasm.

I wanted to like this book a lot more than I ended up liking it. It has a nice hip look to it and I love the idea of skewering that genre. I was happy to find out they were the best selections from Happy Woman Magazine online. I figured a compilation drawing on 5 years of material would be filled with biting sarcasm, humour, and even the malice as promised in the title.

The first few pages were pretty amusing, but then it got a little tired. Perhaps the most tedious sections were the agony aunt column, "Dear Madrone," advice from Donna Corleone. If you've ever watched a really bad gangster film -- one that packs every last sad mobster cliché into 90 minutes -- then you have an idea of what these segments offer.

Luckily the rest isn't so dire. There are plenty of beauty tips and mock diets (my favourite was the Soup Diet: rotate through three days where breakfast lunch and dinner each consist of soup) that cut almost too close to what you actually read in women's magazines; there are tales of triumph; and there are goofy do-it-yourself articles.

Maybe my mistake was reading it all in one go. Now that I think about it, my head might burst into flame if I had to leaf through five years of Good Housekeeping, so perhaps I got off lightly with just a mild headache. Random Acts of Malice provides plenty of smirks and the odd, guilty laugh out loud, but it's not a book I'd read more than once.

**

Buy Random Acts of Malice from Amazon.ca

Heavy Metal (Columbia-Tristar, 1981)

2006-08-30T21:19:00.000-07:00

Heavy Metal came out at a time when people weren't really making animated films -- except for the Disney studios -- and certainly not adult-oriented musical animated films with just the barest excuse for a plot.

Naturally, it became a "cult hit."

Many of my friends in high school watched this show. They went on and on about it, doodling the large-breasted vixen from the poster on their binders. Somehow, despite frequent midnight showings and its release on both VHS and DVD, I managed to avoid seeing it until very recently. I wish I had continued to avoid it.

The film is a series of vignettes, tied together by the glowing green orb that calls itself Loc-Nar, the sum of all evils. Aside from the opening sequence, "Harry Canyon" which seems to be the inspiration for Bruce Willis' part in The Fifth Element, only one of the vignettes really appealed to me: B-17 about a bomber pilot plagued by zombies. Not only was the sequence tense and greusome, but the animation was much more crisp and focused and the plot had a very Twilight Zone feel to it.

Unfortunately, the other sequences feature varying combos of large-breasted women and bloody violence; most are so tedious that I very nearly dozed off a few times. I think there were two things I should have had before waching this film: 1. something to chemically alter my consiousness and 2. lived life as a 14 year old boy. I really don't think this film is meant to appeal to anyone watching it straight/sober or any adult who didn't first see it and love it as a hormone-riddled teen.

That said, I'm sure there are fans out there; I'd love to hear why.

**

Buy Heavy Metal on DVD (widescreen) from Amazon.ca

Temple of Cod by Adrienne Jones (Creative Guy Publishing, 2005 )

2006-08-11T20:03:00.000-07:00

note: this review is for the chapbook edition

Temple of Cod is a perfect example of a book that should not be judged by its cover. The cover art by Chris Cox (whose cartoons are perfectly passable) is immature -- it reminded me of something the boys at the back of art class in high school would sketch on the front of their binders, between Led Zeppelin symbols and Heavy Metal heroines. But, should you open the cover, you will find a story that not only pulls you in but also drags you along by the left ankle, leaving more than a couple of bumps on the back of your head.

Do you smell fish?

For years Elliot has made a living selling painting after painting of the same lighthouse -- the one at his Grandfather's cottage where he was raised. When his girlfriend leaves, he tries painting something else but it all goes horribly, horribly wrong. Is he hallucinating? If so, what just chewed through his tires? Who is taunting him with rhymes from his childhood? And what the hell was that thing? When he can't take it anymore, he calls his friend Bobby who also happens to be a registered psychiatrist. Trouble is, Bobby can see the hallucinations, too.

Getting to the bottom of what Elliot unleashed takes him on a wild ride into his past that reveals some creepy, nasty truths and a few surprises. What starts as an odd story develops into something downright nightmarish that Jones then pushes over the top to a deliciously greusome conclusion.

I can't wait to read her next tale.

****1/2

Buy the chapbook from Project Pulp
Buy the eBook from Fictionwise
Buy the chapbook, eBook or audiobook/podcast from Creative Guy Publishing

Harold and Maude (Paramount Pictures, 1971)

2006-08-07T22:13:00.000-07:00

Harold is young, rich, and gets his thrills by, among other things, attending funerals. Maude is a free spirit who befriends Harold after seeing him at several funerals. The relationship evolves over time as Harold opens up to Maude's way of life.

Along the way, there is a lot of very dark humour -- mostly around suicide and death, but also around his attempts to avoid dating the women with whom his mother has arranged dates. This film clearly has a 1970s sensibility -- Harold rejects his mother's expectations, the military, and society in general -- and yet like many great films from the era, it is still relevant today.

With my tastes, I am surprised I avoided this film for so long. It's very very funny and very very dark, but there are touching moments, too. In the end, Harold and Maude are two human beings who need one another. If you are a fan of Six Feet Under, M*A*S*H, or black comedies in general, Harold and Maude should be on your list to watch.

****

Buy Harold and Maude at Amazon.ca

You're Not Very Important by Douglas W. Texter (Liason Press, 2003)

2006-08-02T21:33:00.000-07:00

If you've ever thought that maybe you could be President, an American Idol, or the CEO of a Fortune 500 company then you should stop everything and read You're Not Very Important. Inside you will learn about the dangerous potential of everything from education to diversity to self-actualization.

Douglas W. Texter pokes fun at self-help, self-improvement, and everything else self-centred in the space of just over 200 pages. Texter has a gift for taking any situation and following it through to the most outrageous conclusion imaginable -- in fact, many conclusions are unimaginable. The gag runs thin before the subjects run out, and there are a few too many references to European dictators, but the book as a whole is entertaining. There were many passages which made me laugh out loud:

on how to judge the effectiveness of a wedgie, "It is wildly successful if the said undergarment tears off completely."
on identifying philosophers,"In a sense, philosophers greatly resemble street people, except that the latter aren't able to apply for MacArthur Grants."
on changing the world, "When people ask you to embark on an adventure that promises to make the world a better place, you should do your part for humanity by running away screaming."

Each chapter takes on a Myth -- the Myth of Religion, for example -- by introducing a scenario, blowing it out of proportion, and closing with suggestions for how to avoid getting caught in the same trap. It's clever satire and would make a great gift for your manager, the coworker who talked you into attending that pyramid scheme meeting, or that in-law with visions of grandeur.

*** 1/2

Buy You Aren't Very Important at Amazon.com
Buy the eBook through Fictionwise

tags: self-improvement, humour

Safe At Home by C. Dennis Moore (Creative Guy Publishing, 2002)

2006-07-12T22:20:00.000-07:00

Safe at Home. The title conjures the standard feelings of comfort and stability; the spooky looking house on the cover conjures the opposite feelings. Inside, the story opens with a young couple, Jim and Monica, moving into their first apartment together. There's a lot of fuss made over security -- including the fact that the couple are only given one key between them. Shortly after they move in, there is a murder in the building. Then another. Then Jim finds himself the prime suspect.

The plot is interesting; the set-up, clever, but C. Dennis Moore is not a master storyteller. Not yet, anyway. It's pretty clear that Safe at Home is a freshman effort that could have benefited from a more strict editor, though overall the result is a well-paced horror/thriller where an everyman is accused of the unthinkable.

Safe at Home is a short eBook (this review is of the pdf version) that bundles the short story (about 70 pages) with the back story, part of the screenplay version, and even deleted scenes which makes it sort of like a DVD. These "special features" are interesting, but once I had read the story, I didn't really want to read the screenplay, not even out of curiosity. For the sake of this review I did read it, however, and I can safely say that while the story is better off in it's published form, it does feel like something between an episode of Tales From the Crypt and CSI, if you were to tell the story from the point of view of the accused.

***

Buy Safe At Home through fictionwise.com
See more from Creative Guy Publishing

Also referenced:
Tales From the Crypt -- get the first season at Amazon.ca
CSI -- get the complete first season at Amazon.ca

tags: ebook, thriller, review, bookreview

The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold (Little, Brown 2002)

2006-06-02T14:29:00.000-07:00

The story begins with a murder. More specifically, it opens with the rape an murder of a young teen, 14 year old Susie Salmon. From this horrible nightmare springs the study of a family from the inside out as they deal with the difficulty of grieving before a body has been found, the reader watches them pull apart, and pull together over time.

Susie narrates the story from her version of heaven -- where fashion magazines are textbooks -- where she can watch and listen to those on earth. She watches her family, her dog, her neighbours, even her killer. She discovers that she touched others in ways she was not aware.

Bottom line: I loved this book. It read like my favourite young adult fiction -- the protagonist is a teen; there are supernatural elements; the story is layered yet not obtuse. The fascinating thing about The Lovely Bones is that it just barely skirts the falsely sweet and manipulative passages you would expect to find in a novel about the death of a teen, and author Alice Sebold pulls no punches when describing the crimes committed. The book is bittersweet; its final pages not what I expected, though exactly what was needed. I suspect when the movie is released in 2007, the ending will be different.

****

Buy The Lovely Bones at Amazon.ca

Over the Hedge (Dreamworks, 2006)

2006-05-22T13:11:00.000-07:00

When RJ, a raccoon voiced by Bruce Willis, accidentally destroys the food stockpiled by a hungry bear, he needs to find help fast. He hooks up with a group of foragers who are unknowingly living in a tiny patch of forest surrounded by suburban sprawl and a great big hedge. The head forager is a turtle named Verne (Gary Shandling); his family includes a pair of possums, a skunk, five hedgehogs, and a manic squirrel named Hammy (Steve Carrell). Hammy steals almost every scene, though some of the other characters get to deliver the best one-liners.

Typical of other Dreamworks Animation productions (Shrek, Madagascar), Over the Hedge is a family film, short and engaging enough for toddlers to sit through and funny enough for adults to weather. The plot is paper thin, of course, and several of the funniest moments were included in ads and trailers, but there is still plenty of fun to be had between the time Verne first ventures into suburbia and the time the credits roll. The animation is solid but the voice actors do the heavy lifting for this movie.

The film is based on characters from Michael Fry and T. Lewis' cartoon strip which has been running since 1995 and has produced four book collections. Much of the fun comes from seeing suburbia through the animals' eyes which is the centre of the comic.

Bottom line, Over The Hedge is a fun family film, suitable for almost any age.

***

Buy Over The Hedge: Stuffed Animals
Buy Over The Hedge 3: Knights of the Picnic Table
Buy Over The Hedge 2
Buy Over The Hedge

Watch an interview with Over the Hedge creators at Comics.com

Paint it Black: A Guide to Gothic Homemaking by Voltaire (Weiser Books, 2005)

2006-05-17T21:28:00.000-07:00

If you've always wanted your own Book of the Dead or have been considering Pimping Your Ride, Dracula Style, or if you just really like black and red, this may be the book for you.

Voltaire is by trade a stop-motion animator, though he uses the techniques he learned for animation to make the props he uses in his gothic decor. Paint It Black is a how-to book. If you can wield a glue gun, aim a can of black spray-paint, and aren't afraid to modify other people's cast-offs, then you too can have a creepy, dark, romantic, Gothic hideaway. Taken further, Voltaire explains how to throw a Goth wedding and even, yes, pimping out that hearse or black K-car in your driveway.

While this book isn't supposed to be tongue-in-cheek, it's pretty hard to take it seriously. Voltaire has a sense of humour about it all, and admits that this look is certainly not for everyone. I am sure there are more than a few seventeen year olds would be happy to follow every instruction to the letter, but more likely it will come in handy just before October, when you are planning that wicked Halloween party.

Buy Paint it Black at Amazon.ca

The Spaces In Between (NeWest Press, 2003)

2006-05-03T21:02:00.000-07:00

In The Spaces In Between, you will find poems about pioneers, the expatriates who lived in Montparnasse, Bob Dylan, love and loss, paintings and photographs, mountains, landmarks, and more. The poems run freely across the pages, as varied in form and metre as in subject matter. Some are light and airy, others are dense and resemble prose, though their rhythm betrays them.

The Spaces In Between collects poems that span of Scobie's career from 1965 to 2001. Many of them reference songs, paintings and cities that Scobie knows intimately -- in fact intimate is possibly the best single word to describe this collection. Consider "My skin is made of stars," only two lines long, it conveys an intimacy that other authors spend chapters to describe:

My skin is made of stars

My skin is made of stars
I want you to be my astronomer

Scobie playfully considers how pioneers named mountains; where Picasso found inspiration; how vampires comb their hair; and what would happen if Oedipus met Freud at the fork in the road. On other pages he writes of past loves, family and the love of his life, even a love song for the city of Edmonton and CBC radio. Perhaps the truest words of all are in the poems that close the volume: "Maureen: poems for the weeks of her dying," a cycle of nine poems that document exactly that, the last weeks Scobie spent with his wife, Maureen. I cannot read them without a catch in my throat. Each of Scobie's books, including The Spaces In Between is dedicated "For Maureen, as always, as everything."

Stephen Scobie is a contemporary award-winning Canadian poet. He is also a traveller, a teacher and a scholar, currently living in Victoria, BC where he teaches at the University of Victoria.

****

King Kong (Universal Pictures, 2005)

2006-04-07T07:09:00.000-07:00

When I was four years old, I saw the original King Kong. It broke my brain. A giant ape gets captured, taken to New York and climbs the Empire State Building.I heard Peter Jackson was going to remake the movie as a follow-up to his Lord of the Rings trilogy. I was skeptical. How many version of Kong have I seen?There were the bad Japanese versions of the 1960s (though I liked the mechanical Kong in King Kong vs. Godzilla). There was the big budget remake in 1976 (weird to watch what with Kong's ascent up the World Trade Center). In the 1980s there was a really lousy King Kong Lives that ironically seemed to kill the concept of a big monkey movie. Although I liked everything Peter Jackson turned out, I was waiting for a big, long flop.

I was pleasantly surprised.

King Kong is a masterpiece of movie making. It's broken into three solid acts. The first act is all about New York. The original was filmed during the Great Depression. The remake features the Depression and uses it to drive the plot. The second act is the sea journey and the peril. Nobody in Hollywood wants to admit that productions are done on a shoestring. Peter Jackson isn't from Hollywood. Jack Black's producer/promoter, Carl Denham, has no cash so he cuts every corner: he gets a tramp steamer, he houses the talent like animals; and there's more. It's great. When they get to Skull Island, the natives have Peter Jackson's spin. They look and act more like Orcs. Naomi Watts' Anne Darrow is snapped up by Kong and the men come to the rescue. If nothing else, this part of the movie has too much. There are as many dinosaurs as Jurassic Park; as many giant bugs as one of those schlocky 1970s movies; and on top of that is the big man himself. Leave the bugs for the next movie, Peter. Eventually Kong is captured and shipped back to New York. The third act is set in Manhattan. Kong is a miserable, pitiable and chained spectacle. There are parts that really tug at your heart strings, right up to the tragic ending that echoes the 1933 original. To the credit of the screenwriters, King Kong is painted as a sympathetic character.

I always had a big problem with Kong: what has he? A monkey man in a suit? This version is solidly a massive gorilla and the portrayal is so effective that could almost convince Jane Goodall. He acts like a 25 foot tall gorilla but he conveys a sensitivity. This movie walks a fine line of following the events of the original while updating it to survive a reality check and make for some real suspense and surprises. The acting is strong. I actually dislike Jack Black and think Adrian Brody used the Marisa Tomei clause to win his Oscar. The performances are spot on and the casting is ideal.

The basic edition is a little skimpy but the deluxe DVD version has three hours of behind-the-scenes material. If your enjoyed the movie, the bonus material should push you pop for the deluxe edition.

****

Buy King Kong on DVD (US) (UK)

Ice Age: The Meltdown (20th Century Fox, 2006)

2006-04-04T14:50:00.000-07:00

The original Ice Age (2002) was clever, cute, and above all entertaining. Ice Age: the Meltdown is not as clever, not as cute and, not surprisingly, not as entertaining. As with most sequels, this movie delivers very similar material with a diminished effect. It's not that Meltdown is a bad movie, it's just average.

The problem with animated movies is finding that delicate balance in the audience for crossover appeal. This can be achieved through a number of means but visual style, a good script, and great voice actors are key. Meltdown is visually impressive, although it's nothing more nor less than what we've seen from this and other CG animation studios recently.

The plot is simple: those creatures who survived the ice age are living in a large basin, surrounded by, you guessed it, ice. As the ice begins to melt, the creatures move toward a "boat" perched high atop a rock, a few days away. Along the way, Manny and the "herd" meet a mamoth who, having been raised by possums, believes she is a possum. They quarrel, the herd is separated at various times for various reasons, and we learn a little more about each of the main characters along the way.

There are a few visual gags to be gained from a mamoth clinging to a tree by her tail, but these get old pretty fast, the remaining humour is largely inoffensive. As with the original, Skrat (the prehistoric squirrel) breaks the tension with comic releif in his pursuit of the almighty acorn. There are also two villains in the movie -- underwater prehistoric predators who are just plain mean.

Overall, Meltdown is suitable for kids, especially a younger audience, but may have been more suited for a direct-to-DVD release.

***

tags: Movie review, Ice Age: Meltdown, Ice Age, animation

Empire Redeemed

2006-04-04T14:45:00.000-07:00

A few months ago, we had a lousy experience at the new-to-Victoria Empire Theatre chain. Since then, we have returned for three different movies at the same location; all experiences were acceptable -- the last one I would even categorize as "very good." The service, especially at the concession, has definitely improved, so I am willing to chalk up the past problems to the change in management and having to (re)train staff.

tags: movie theatre, theatre experience.

V for Vendetta (Warner Bros., 2006)

2006-03-18T21:52:00.000-08:00

Borrowing from the legend of Guy Fawkes, a single man known only as V (Hugo Weaving) takes a stand against Britain's totalitarian regime of the very near future in V for Vendetta, based on Alan Moore's classic graphic novel of the same name. When V meets Evey (Natalie Portman), it seems like a coincidental meeting until it becomes clear that nothing in V's world is a coincidence -- everything and everyone is connected.

The film does stray somewhat from the novel which was written at the height of Thatcher's rule in the late 1980s but it strays so that it may seem that much more universal. Vendetta is still set in England and the idea that there can be hope even in times that seem hopeless remains the central theme.

While the film benefits from a strong script, based on a strong novel, it is carried by strong performances. In addition to Portman and Weaving, gripping performances are delivered by Stephen Rae and Rupert Graves as the detectives who come to fear the worst; and by Stephen Fry as Evey's boss, Gordon, a British Television Network celebrity who has a few secrets of his own. The casting of John Hurt as the totalitarian leader is also a wry wink to dystopian film fans who may remember his turn as Winston Smith in Nineteen Eighty Four.

Rounding out what is good about this film are the direction (by James McTeigue), the costume design, and the set design. In fact, there is little about it that I take exception with. I wasn't sure how much whizz-bang to expect from the Wachowski Brothers (of Matrix fame) but they did not go over the top. There is some gore and there are some impressive explosions and even a few spectacular fight sequences. Overall though, V for Vendetta is more about V than his vendetta; the film's focus is on the ideas of justice and of rebellion rather than on the way those things are brought about.

Considering the subject matter -- the central character is a terrorist -- V for Vendetta is a film that fills its audience with hope. In the end, it's clear: not only can you stand up to your government and say, "Bollocks," but sometimes you should.

****

V for Vendetta is in theatres now.

Buy the graphic novel V for Vendetta (Canada/USA/UK)
Buy the soundtrack Music from V for Vendetta (Canada/USA/UK)

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TAGS: review, movie review, V for Vendetta

The Shaggy Dog (Disney, 2006)

2006-03-10T22:33:00.000-08:00

It's been almost 50 years since Disney's original version of The Shaggy Dog (1958), starring Fred MacMurray, was released; long enough that even the parents of many of the kids who want to see the film will not have seen the original. Luckily, if they do remember the original, they will realize moments into the film that the only similarity between the two films is that the father hates dogs. In the original, the son transformed into a sheepdog; in the re-imagined version, the father (well-played by Tim Allen) transforms.

Tim Allen is Dave Douglas, a busy corporate lawyer aiming to be the next District Attourney. He's too busy for his kids -- political teen Carly (Zena Grey) and football-challenged Josh (Spencer Breslin) -- and even seems to have stopped listening to his wife Rebecca (Kirsten Davis), so it's only fair that a mystical dog should make him change his perspective. Allen is ideal for the role; his stand-up routine included comparisons between man and other animals; he's accomplished at both slapstick and drama; and after transforming into Santa, a sheepdog was not a big challenge. Rounding out the cast, Robert Downey Jr. puts in an over-the-top performance in the evil-scientist role and Craig Kilborn provides some punchlines as an annoying neighbour.

The comedy is classic Disney-family-style, with a few broad strokes of slapstick and some nods to other films thrown in (listen for Allen's Toy Story shoutout). The best shots in the film are those seen through Douglas' eyes as a dog and reminded me of some of the scenes from Cats and Dogs (2001). I walked into this movie with fairly low expectations but found myself laughing -- one ridiculous sequence in particular had me almost roaring -- and more or less enjoying this light little family film.

***

The soundtrack includes a half dozen songs about dogs; among them: Big Dog by Akon, the inevitable Who Let the Dogs Out by the Baha Men, Atomic Dog by George Clinton -- some of which didn't appear in the movie -- along with the original score by Alan Menken.

Buy The Shaggy Dog soundtrack on CD.
Buy The Shaggy Dog (1958) on DVD

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Mirrormask (Sony Pictures, 2005)

2006-02-28T08:20:00.000-08:00

Let me start by saying you've never seen a feature film like Mirrormask. The visual style mixes live action with computer-generated imagery and other magic by Henson Studios. Several days after seeing the film, I'm still not sure what to think about the plot (which was a bit simple) but the creatures and characters are still front and centre in my mind.

Helena is at the centre of the story. Her parents run a small circus (somewhere in tone between a traditional circus and Cirque du Soleil) but she wants to run away and "join real life." To escape, she draws, endlessly; her walls are covered in fantastic charcoal sketches. When her mother falls ill and her world is thrust into flux, she again retreats into her drawings. On the eve of her mother's operation, she falls asleep and the dream world she enters seems all-too familiar.

Neil Gaiman penned the script after he was approached by Lisa Henson to create a story similar in tone and scope to The Dark Crystal and Labyrinth. They then approached Dave McKean (who has collaborated with Gaiman on several children's books) to take the director's chair -- they offered him almost no money but complete creative control. The result is uneven (due to a plot that is too close for my liking to the aforementioned Labyrinth) but still worth seeing -- on the big screen if you get the chance.

***

Buy Mirrormask on DVD
Buy Mirrormask: The Illustrated Film Script.

Eve and the Fire Horse (2005 - Golden Horse Productions)

2006-02-25T23:06:00.000-08:00

<>Eve And The Fire Horse is set in 1970s, Vancouver BC. It focuses on two sisters, Eve and Karena, children of a traditional Chinese family. Chinese culture is full of bad omens: You curse a household by saying bad things during a birthday. Women should not chop down trees. The most profound superstition is that of the year of the Fire Horse. The year comes every 60 years, last in 1966. Women born into this year are supposed to bring nothing but trouble. In China, abortion rates spike as no one wants a baby from the year of the Fire Horse. In Japan, employers look down at women born on this year as they will be troublesome. Eve is a girl born from this year.

Bad luck befalls the household: Eve’s grandmother dies and Eve’s mother miscarries. Eve and her sister learn about Christianity. The girls begin to attend a Catholic church. At first, the family approve of their daughters’ new faith. They see it as a way of doubling down their bid for heavenly protection: with Jesus and Buddha protecting them, how could they go wrong? Their Catholic nun sees Buddhism differently: those who have not renounced all but Jesus are going to Hell.

This is Julie Kwan’s first feature length film. She has struggled to get out a film like this. Hollywood is run by old white guys. A film by an Asian, Canadian woman is triply cursed. When she approached people about turning this film into reality, they said, “oh, more Mina Shum? We already have a film from an Asian, Canadian woman.” It’s like saying, “sorry George Lucas. Spielberg already turned in a geeky film.” (bad analogy—somebody should have done that). Hollywood is a barrage of action movies, broad comedies and cookie cutter dramas. Kwan’s film is refreshing in its approach and its subject matter. It’s a period piece, but really it’s timeless. It’s Canadian, but it doesn’t have that cloying CBC feel.

Eve And The Fire Horse is a heartfelt and entertaining look at religion and family. It’s full of inspired moments that are reminiscent of movies like Amelie: where household gods come alive; and girls dress up their Jesus in Barbie clothes because he looks cold. The real shame is that you may never get to see this movie. The pessimism of movie distributors and theatre owners is such that this movie may languish in obscurity.

The Matador (Alliance Atlantis, 2005)

2006-01-28T21:49:00.000-08:00

Pierce Brosnan plays Julian Noble: an assassin who interupts his hits with boozing and womanizing. When in Mexico City on a hit, he meets up with Danny Wright (Greg Kinnear), a businessman on hard times who is on a business trip that will make or break his future. Eventually, Julian confides in Danny and admits what his line of work it. Straight arrow Danny and hitman Julian part ways before long, leaving Danny with the mother of all anedotes. He goes home. Julian picks up his work but he's lost his edge. An assassin with the jitters is no good and he's in a crisis. Several months later, Julian arrives at Danny's doorstep.
The hitman in crisis is oddly a subgenre and more often plays as comedy than crime: Grosse Point Blank; Man Bites Dog; and the unfortunate Analyze This and Analyze That. Of these examples, this movie is the best of the lot. It's paced as a dark comedy with room for some pathos. Pierce Brosnan plays a bebonair gentleman in many of his roles. In this movie, he lets himself go in splendid style: scrubby looking, frequently drunk, banging women in most cities, angering women by trying to pay for sex in the other cities. He's an acidic and mean spirited wreck and because of his contrast, he really shines.
The Matador is a lean story. Like its title, this movie executes with precision.

tags: movies, Matador, Pierce Brosnan, Greg Kinnear, Hope Davis

Will "Bubble" Burst the Multiplex?

2006-01-24T21:22:00.000-08:00

Mark Cuban and Todd Wagner owners of Landmark Theatres and cable channel HDNet has partnered with Steven Soderbergh to release Bubble in theatres, on cable and on DVD simultaneously.

Ebert and Roeper weighed in on the controversy -- they feel it can only be a good thing, increasing the audience for smaller films. The crunch comes for blockbuster movies: will they still find enough of an audience to justify their outrageous budgets? I think so. So does Mark Cuban.

Cuban perfectly nails the issue in this post: What Business are theaters in ?[Blog Maverick] where he describes the generation gap in movie-goers,

When a 16 year old goes to a movie, there is absolutely nothing at all wrong with answering your cellphone, talking back to the screen and texting your heart away during a movie. The movie is just there because its better than doing the same thing sitting or walking at the mall...

All of the above drives anyone not in that demographic crazy. So when a couple of 35 year olds go to see King Kong, not only can you pretty much bet that they arent going to have a great experience during the showing of the movie, but they probably didnt have a great experience before they even got their seats.

They are probably already pissed because the stereos were blasting in the parking lot, the lines to the concession stands were filled with kids chit chattering and taking their good old time, while you wanted to get into the movie so you could talk to your wife or date.

Yes!! YES!! There is someone, somewhere who understands why the multiplex cinema experience is going to lose money soon if it can't adapt -- it is annoying more people than it is attracting. And so, Cuban says, "Why not actually start making a profit off the DVD sales?" Excellent question, and I hope he makes a lot of cash out of the deal so the naysayers can eat their words.

In the meantime, I will continue to enjoy movies wherever I can find them, even if that means giving the stink-eye to the gaggle of teens behind me at the multiplex.

100 Greatest Discoveries (Discovery Communications 2004)

2006-01-04T20:45:00.000-08:00

I am currently watching 100 Greatest Discoveries, hosted by Bill Nye (known to millions as "Bill Nye the Science Guy"). Now, my kid loves Bill Nye but she is in bed right now, so I can't give you her opinion. On the other hand, I've been watching Bill Nye since he was a regular guest on Seattle's late night show, Almost Live, and I also count myself a big fan.

Nye makes a great host for what is essentially an overview of science; the eight episodes cover discoveries in the fields of Evolution, Earth Science, Medicine, Physics, Astronomy, Chemistry, Genetics, and Biology. The show uses historical recreation, expert interviews, computer graphics and location shots to give the viewer the best possible introduction to those discoveries and theories which form the basis of modern scientific thought.

It's currently airing in British Columbia on the Knowledge Network, but check your local Discovery Channel or PBS listings in the upcoming weeks and months.

Or, you can pre-order the DVD set from the Discovery Channel.

****

Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter (Odessa Films, 2001)

2005-12-28T21:33:00.000-08:00

If B-Movies are your idea for a fun evening, then do yourself a favour and pick up the very odd Canadian indie film: Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter. Written by Ian Driscoll and directed by Lee Gordon Demabre, JCVH offers a little bit of everything: vampires (who hunt in daylight), kung-fu fighting, song and dance numbers, a priest with a mowhawk, a beefy transvestite, a mexican wrestler, an ass-kicking saviour, and much much more.

Surprisingly, the film has attracted little criticism. It has been screened for religious organizations but the jury is still out on whether the film presents enough of a positive image to counteract the obvious blasphemy. For the record, I think it does; it presents a modern Jesus as someone who can combat evil while still forgiving the evil-doer.

JCVH is a typical low-budget production, but the editing and sound production give it an edge over its competitors. The fight-scenes are well choreographed and well-paced; there's a suitable amount of blood and gore (it gets the point across without being excessive). Music is used to great advantage and someone had a great time adding in sound effects that range from the surreal crunch and squish of a vampire's bite to the silly boink and clunk of cartoon-style violence.

This is a full-length film, clocking in at 90 minutes and at times the story does drag a bit. Overall though, the film is a juicy addition to any B-movie fan's collection.

***

Buy Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter on DVD.
Buy other JCVH merchandise from Odessa Filmworks.

More info at IMDB and Odessa Filmworks.

TAGS: movie review, b-movie

Book of Lost Souls (Marvel/Icon 2005- )

2005-12-28T19:04:00.000-08:00

Jonathan lived in the nineteenth century. Jilted by his true love, he is driven to suicide and just before he jumps into a river, a stranger happens to give him a book (as a weight, of course). Jonathan jumps and is resurrected in the 21st century. While a talking black and white cat named Mystery is his guide, the Dark Man seems to be his master. The cat, it seems, is not the only mystery in this world created by writer J. Michael Straczynski (Amazing Spiderman, Babylon 5) and artist Colleen Doran (A Distant Soil).

I recently picked up the first three issues, drawn to them by Straczynski's name alone. Happily, I was not disappointed. Each issue (so far) contains a single story while also gradually revealing the overall arc of what Jonathan is doing, for whom, and why. The writing is, as expected, very strong -- I especially like Mystery's tone -- and the art fits quite well with the story. My only complaint is that so far it doesn't look like a terribly inventive premise, though the strength of the writing is enough for me to continue reading the series.

The Book of Lost Souls debuted in October 2005. It is an ongoing monthly series, available in comic stores now; issue 4 hits shelves on January 11, 2006.

***

Read an interview with Colleen Doran about the project.
Pre-order Book of Lost Souls trade paperback (collects issues 1-6).

Buy A Distant Soil: Coda by Colleen Doran (volume 4 of the series).
Buy the Complete Book of Scriptwriting by J. Michael Straczynski.
Buy The Amazing Spiderman v.9: Skin Deep by J. Michael Straczynski.

Dennis Leary's Merry F#%$in Christmas (Comedy Central, 2005)

2005-12-18T09:31:00.000-08:00

Dennis Leary promised to put the X back in Xmas with this holiday special and he sure as [expletive deleted] did. It premiered November 27th on Comedy Central; in Canada, it aired last night on the Comedy Network.

With special guests ranging from the Barenaked Ladies to Carmen Electra, I was looking forward to settling in for an hour of raunch with a holiday twist. Instead, most of it was about as un-funny as an average episode of Mad TV. From the racist re-telling of A Night Before Christmas (set in "tha hood" and read by actor/comedian Charlie Murphy) to the very nasty mock infomercials suggesting viewers donate cash to get flat-chested teen girls breast implants (you can buy t-shirts for the non-cause if you really want to), it was like watching a trainwreck. Even the opening song, the titular "Merry F#%$in Christmas!" was weak, despite being animated a style reminiscent of the Rankin-Bass holiday specials.

There was only one laugh-out-loud sketch (there would've been two, but the promo spot gave the other laugh away) in which Dennis Leary lamented the lack of "dangerous toys" under the tree these days.

I recommend skipping this turkey.

*

Comedy Central is selling the CD-Single of "Merry F#%$in Christmas!" with "over 15 minutes" of bonus comedy material.

If you are looking for some funny Dennis Leary, pick up a copy of Dennis Leary [Limited Collector's Edition] on DVD. It contains material from No Cure for Cancer and Lock N' Load, plus the video for his hit song, A**hole.

Bad Cinema Experience

2005-12-11T19:56:00.000-08:00

In a small digression from our usual reviews, I would like to take a moment to rant about the recent change to the cinema landscape in our hometown. When Cineplex-Odeon acquired Famous Players from Viacom, it meant there was an overlap in 13 "zones" across Canada which meant that 35 screens had to be sold off to other interested companies in the interest of open competition.

So, at some point in the last few months, Silver City started accepting Cineplex gift certificates and the once-modern Capitol 6 along with the University 4 Cinemas were bought out by the Empire Theatre company.

Today was our first visit to the University 4 under the new management. The new management fumbled big-time today, leading to a very unpleasant start to our visit. We wanted to buy tickets for two adults, one child, and get our concession vouchers all at the express wickets. Unfortunately, the machines kept giving us "CARD ERROR" messages -- we tried three cards before getting in line at the kiosk where we were told they could only take cash. The poor kid inside the kiosk looked like he was having the worst day of his life... I'm afraid my grumpiness didn't help him any. We pulled out of the line and debated going to the bank machine to grab cash... meanwhile many other people were trying the express wickets and getting the same error message. By now, management was well aware of the problem, but no one put up a sign; no one stood by the express wicket to direct people to the kiosks -- all of this had to be weathered by the kid in the kiosk.

Only after we had gone to the bank, got back in line, and finally got to the front of the queue did the management re-appear with some signs printed on official letterhead with their apologies. It turns out the interac system was down (which includes credit card transactions, I guess) -- this is not uncommon on a shopping day this close to Christmas, but their poor handling of the issue still ticked me off.

Next was our trip to the concession where the trainee was doing juuuuust fine (we often order soda water which tends to confuse those who don't see a big shiny light that says "soda water" (hint: there isn't one -- it's what is mixed with the syrup to get your soda of choice so there's either a small button or you pull instead of push a lever)). So anyway, the trainee was just about to put the lid on our drink when been-there-a-week-longer fella decides to pull rank. "What's wrong with that drink?" Not wanting to wait for the inevitable back-and-forth I interrupted, "Don't correct him, he's right. We ordered soda water." The other fella shut up and went to get our popcorn.

So zero-for-two I'd say, and we'll likely be choosing a different theatre for our next cinematic outing.

***

EDIT - Update, 15Dec05:

Mike was unhappy enough about the service that he emailed Empire Theatres and included a link to this post. Mike was very clear in his complaint that while he realized the problem may have been beyond their control it was their handling of the incident that made the experience an unhappy one. The result was a relatively prompt reply (within 48 hours) including an apology. Given their response, we will likely give them another chance but I'd like to wait for them to work out some of their growing pains before we go back.

Syriana (Participant/Warner Bros 2005)

2005-12-07T21:50:00.000-08:00

There are a lot of jobs that you couldn't pay me to do -- anything involving international intrigue is high on the list. Syriana plays out not only in the oil-rich countries of the Middle-East, but also in the powerful cities of Washington, DC and Geneva, Switzerland.

Syriana is taut and finely woven. It is a thriller, a mystery, and something more. The official website describes it as "a political thriller that unfolds against the intrigues and corruption of the global oil industry." Regardless of how it is described, Syriana makes Michael Moore's revelations look like crass infomercials. It is raw and unflinching and has an undeniable impact on the viewers. The packed house with whom I viewed the film was eerily silent and still for the first few screens of credits -- it's that intense.

Like Traffic, the last award-winning film from screenwriter Stephen Gaghan, Syriana relies on handicam (a.k.a. queasycam or wobblycam) filming for a large number of shots. While this technique does enhance the tension and urgency, it is really easily abused and it was the weakest aspect of this film. The script, based on the memoirs of ex-CIA agent Robert Baer, is solid and its direction, inspired. Most of the performances are top-notch. George Clooney burns with energy as CIA agent Bob Barnes, but the real standout is Alexander Siddig as Prince Nasir, the reform-minded heir to the Emir. There's already "Oscar® Buzz" making the rounds and you can add me to the list of Siddig's supporters.

Syriana doesn't ask the audience to stop driving their cars or boycott big oil companies but it does pose some bigger questions. It leaves them unanswered, in part because there are no answers.

*****

Buy the memoir See No Evil by Robert Baer.
Buy the soundtrack for Syriana.
Buy Traffic on DVD.

TAGS: movie review

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Warner Bros 2005)

2005-11-18T22:32:00.000-08:00

When Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire was originally released, fans were surprised by the size of the tome. It should be no surprise to those fans that in just over two and a half hours of run-time there is a lot of text that just didn't make it into the film. Rest assured though, not one page of script was wasted in this movie.

We find Harry Potter at the Weasley's house as they set off for the Quiddich world cup. Unfortunately, Lord Voldemort's followers, the Death Eaters disrupt the festivities and that attack sets the mood for the rest of the movie. Even the exciting announcement of the Tri-Wizard Tournaments to be held at Hogwarts is tainted by anxieties over the possible return of Voldemort and when the Goblet of Fire provides an unprecedented fourth name -- Harry Potter of course -- things can only get worse.

Each of J.K. Rowling's Potter books has been progressively darker than those which preceeded it; the films seem to amplify the darkness in sometimes unexpected ways. Goblet of Fire is the darkest so far, earning its PG-13 rating for some very tense and scary violence. There are some bright spots here, though, mostly in the form of teen dating.

Visually, Goblet of Fire is stunning. The visual effects are well-integrated and well-used with a few exceptions, none of which was jarring enough to break the action or the illusion. The sets are similar to those used in the Prisoner of Azkaban, perhaps because a large part of the action takes place outside the school on the grounds of Hogwarts, used extensively for the first time in the third film. Make-up crews for Goblet of Fire deserve a nod, too -- especially for "Mad-eye" Moody's creepy yet comical artificial eye.

There is a nervous energy to this film, and it really isn't suitable for young children or anyone who is easily scared when their favourite characters are threatened. For those who have been waiting, Mike Newell's direction fits perfectly with this script and its adolescent stars.

****

Buy Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (paperback book)
Buy the Harry Potter Collection (6 DVDs)

TAGS: movie review, harry potter

Tithe (Simon Pulse, 2004)

2005-11-18T14:09:00.000-08:00

Teen fiction can be a tough market, but Holly Black seems to have cracked it with Tithe: A Modern Faerie Tale.

Sixteen year old Kaye has been living a rough life on the road with her mom's rock band. Her unconventional life gets even weirder though after she returns to her childhood home and finds she can perform magic and talk with faeries that she had long ago convinced herself were imaginary friends.

Kaye soon finds herself deeply immersed in the world of the faeries, caught between two feuding faerie kingdoms, and forced to play an important role. Only her best friend's brother seems willing to help but there is little he can do as a mere mortal.

The book has enough violence and gore to satisfy teen fans of vampire fiction and similar genres, plus the usual teen dating dilemmas, but it is in creating the faerie world where Black really excels. The feuding faeries are played one against the other in intrigue out of a political potboiler keeping the reader guessing to the end.

****

Buy Tithe: A Modern Faerie Tale in paperback.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (Warner Brothers 2005)

2005-11-06T21:16:00.000-08:00

When I was a poor kid, I really identified with the Charlie and The Chocolate Factory book by Roald Dahl. Living in that ramshackle hut with all of his family and never complaining. The idea of him dividing scintillas of the Wonka bar over the year between one birthday and the next struck a chord. It was many years before I learned that there was a film version of this book. It came out in 1971, full of psychedelic colors and weird ideas; it seemed like that chocolate was easier to digest with a hit of LSD. Nevertheless, I liked that movie a lot.
When I heard that Tim Burton was going to tackle this story, I thought: Great! I am a big fan of Tim Burton and his capability of using childlike eyes to spy a world fit for adults (even adults who see the world through Goth lenses). But then I had a horrible flashback. I remembered a world overrun by talking apes; stupid plotlines a rapper turned rapper: Planet of the Apes. Batman was his kingmaker film but Planet of the Apes proved that he could wreck one of my favorites by remaking it. Well, Planet of the Apes was a fluke. Burton's version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory captures the spirit of the book and only strays a ways to tell the story, do it in less than two hours and satisfy Burton’s need to use his films as psychotherapy.
For the uninitiated: Willy Wonka is a reclusive chocolatier who shut the doors to his factory years back. All that comes out the Wonka gates are Wonka bars of all varieties to the joy of children everywhere. Then, one day, he puts out a call: there are five golden tickets in his chocolate bars. The bearer and one guardian are allowed access. Four annoying brats procure tickets. Plus, poor Charlie.
I always liked the Wonka factory for the sheer stupidity of it. Most factories have conveyor belts and ovens. Willy Wonka’s factory is a magical place with dwarven Oompa Loompas, nut cracking squirrels, purple inducing candy and problematic teleporters. It’s a dangerous place for children: full of ironic justice and just desserts. I was thinking: “sure you can shut out the world, but how do you explain the squirrels and rivers of chocolate to those food inspectors?”
In the shadow of the Michael Jackson trial, Willy Wonka with the velvet clothing and Prince Valiant haircut rings creepy. Seeing Wonka usher in a number of children and ply them with chocolate actually felt uncomfortable: like a parable of the Michael Jackson case. Of course, that isn’t the case, it’s just a sad case of bad timing. Put that out of your head and you can fully enjoy the magical tale of Charlie’s journey through Wonka’s factory. It’s full of touches: equally sarcastic and colorful. This movie is more entertaining than the 1971 musical; and closer to the book.

This movie comes is available on DVD

TAGS: movie review, tim burton

Jarhead (Universal 2005)

2005-11-06T18:12:00.000-08:00

Like the book, the movie Jarhead follows the enlistment of Anthony Swofford into the US Marine Corps during the late 1980s. He goes through grueling basic training and is then assigned to train as a scout-sniper: elite marksmen who are trained to take out targets with devastating accuracy. It must have been a downtime for the US military. In 1989, the Berlin Wall had fallen and the world was at peace. What a crappy time for a marine. As luck would have it, long time allies, Saddam Hussein and Iraq were tricked into invading Kuwait. The world cried foul and a coalition of nations positioned troops in Saudi Arabia. Diplomats pushed Iraq to withdraw from its tiny neighbor and the troops waited: some of them waited for upwards of 175 days. It is said that warfare is long periods of boredom interrupted by terror. Swofford’s platoon had to endure just that. Stationed in the dessert, they drilled and fought boredom by talking; guessing when their loved ones would cheat on them; masturbating; and talking about masturbation. The monotony drives Swofford to the edge. He was trained to be this surgical tool: to assassinate key targets from a mile away and instead he drills with his fellow jarheads. Finally the war comes. They move into Kuwait to kick some Iraqi ass. They do get shelled by the Iraqis who promptly retreat. At one point they’re shelled by airborne tank killers—US tank killers. They find evidence of collateral damage; and the Iraqi sabotage of the Kuwaiti oil fields. Do they engage the Iraqis and put all of their training to the test? I won’t spoil the story for you, but sufficed to say: this was a war fought from the air. It was a one-sided war. America was braced for massive casualties but lost more troops to accidents and friendly fire than they did to the Iraqi forces.
Jarhead has so many levels that it brings something new to this well traveled territory. Full Metal Jacket explored this same territory in a 1960s setting. The terror of Saving Private Ryan is almost the opposite of Jarhead. According to cinema, we know how ludicrous the military is: everything from Stripes to Catch 22 to Private Benjamin has taught us that. Jarhead doesn’t move into parody territory, but it does carry an undercurrent of sarcasm: e.g. when a drill sergeant is slapping Swofford in the back of the head and asking Swofford why he’s in the military, Swofford replies, “Sir! I got lost on the way to college! Sir!”
Swofford: the author of Jarhead is the central character of Jarhead. He’s well played by Jake Gyllenhaal who turns in a solid performance as a man who would rather be anywhere else but he needs to earn money for college. The mess of his family is described in a short montage: a depressed mother; an institutionalized sister; a father who managed to never leave Vietnam behind. Swofford is simultaneously eager to snipe his first kills; and repulsed by the disregard for human life that is common in war and in the military.
Swofford’s platoon is made up of losers, rejects, psychopaths and unskilled men who needed the work. Swofford’s spotter, Troy, is played by Peter Sarsgaard: who fills out the role as Swofford’s foil. The supporting cast is rounded out by Jamie Foxx as Staff Sgt. Sykes, leader of his squad. Some of the troops want out. Some who love the marines are about to get tossed. Sykes is the exception: he’s happy where he is and the marines aren’t about to throw him out.
In Vietnam, soldiers were thrown into the fray, mowed down and spat on when they came home. By the time of the first Gulf War, military reconnaissance had become so evolved that air strikes scrubbed out the enemy and troops were sent to mop up. The US military is so good at killing and so good at surviving enemy fire that the majority of their casualties come from friendly fire. The soldiers—especially the marines— are left with this sense of pent-up rage that can’t be satisfied on the battlefield. They’re so effective at warfare that they come home victorious to cheering crowds. Whether it’s a hated Vietnam vet; or a Jarhead who’s getting accolades for surviving boredom—both of them came home feeling they got something they didn’t deserve.

The book, Jarhead is available for sale

TAGS: movie review

American Gods (Harper Collins, 2001)

2005-10-30T12:19:00.000-08:00

In Neil Gaiman's America, Gods from all cultures live among regular folks, though they don't exactly live regular lives. Some have gone a bit crazy having been forgotten, unworshipped or disrespected; others have found creative ways to channel the energy they need. Of course America has also created its own gods -- Media, Internet, Commerce, and so on -- and a war is brewing between the old and the new gods for the masses' worship and sacrifice on which they feed.

American Gods follows a convict who goes by the name of Shadow. It follows him out of jail, where he finds the life he left behind in crumbled ruins, and into the employ of a man who calls himself Wednesday. Shadow is hired as a bodyguard, but it is soon clear he has a much bigger part to play. Shadow moves guardedly and skeptically through the world, usually choosing to observe rather than interact with people. He is well-read and he practices coin tricks to keep his mind focused. Gaiman slowly reveals details through Shadow's experiences and dreams, being careful not to reveal too much at each waypoint. The result is an inevitable but satisfying conclusion.

The recently released Anansi Boys is a spin-off from American Gods, following the family of Anansi who plays a small role in this book.

Buy American Gods.
Buy Anansi Boys.

Edgar Allan Poe's Tales of Mystery and Madness (Atheneum, 2004)

2005-10-24T22:12:00.000-07:00

This small collection of four of Edgar Allen Poe's creepy tales is aimed squarely at the tweens and teens set and published by Atheneum Books for Young Readers (an imprint of Simon and Shuster's Children's division). The illustrations by Gris Grimly -- pen and ink and with watercolour -- lend a graphic novel feel to Poe's dark, dry wit. Included are abridged texts of "The Black Cat," "The Masque of the Red Death," "Hop Frog" and "The Fall of the House of Usher."

Both "Hop-Frog" and "The Black Cat" were new to me and so the images I hold of those tales will now always be Grimly's -- and that is not a bad thing. As the writer discusses his growing aversion to the cat, listing the many reasons, Grimly counters with exhibits A through F: six smaller illustrations in the sidebars pinpointing each of the reasons the writer hates the cat. The illustrations of the climax of "Hop Frog" are horrific and gruesome without being gory -- Poe fills in the gore nicely, though, fear not. Like the Gorey-illustrated War of the Worlds, the combinaion of Grimly with Poe's text is a near-perfect match. Kudos also to the graphic designers for setting the text in Locarno, a slightly-off-kilter decorative serif font that enhances Grimly's images as much as it embrace's Poe's writing.

If there is a comic-book enthusiast on your Christmas List who might be ready for an introduction to some classic lit, this is a fine option; it would also make a great gift for any self-identified goth, fans of Tim Burton's films, or of course horror enthusiasts.

Buy Edgar Allan Poe's Tales of Mystery and Madness illustrated by Gris Grimly.

2046 (Sony Picture Classics, 2005)

2005-10-20T06:41:00.000-07:00

2046 is the number of a hotel room that a writer uses for inspiration to write 2046, a scifi story about a journey on a train to 2046, a place to recover lost memories. On the train are androids with whom travellers "must never fall in love."

If the film had focused on the train and the androids, I'd have been able to see the film I expected to see. Instead, 2046 is about a man who treats women as objects and will not let himself fall in love.

Many reviewers will tell you this is a beautiful, moving film; I will not. There were a few scenes which were beautiful, some that were moving, and some that were jarring. Mostly, the scenes were long. Wong Kar Wai draws out the action and the inaction in life -- a woman considers a draw on a cigarette, s-l-o-w-l-y brings the cigarette to her lips, takes a drag then slowly watches the smoke she blows into the air. Then the writer says , "Sometimes scenes from my life show up in my work," and we see the same woman, in a different costume, take the same impossibly long drag of a cigarette.

I kept wondering when it would end. The writer, Chow, kept talking about different women he had mistreated and each time a relationship ended, I thought, "OK, roll credits!" and another scene would open. The long feel of the film combined with of seeing a drama-romance when I was prepared for a scifi mindbender resulted a big disappointment.

I'm sure there is an audience who will love this film -- I just can't count myself in it.

Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit (Aardman Films, 2005)

2005-10-15T22:13:00.000-07:00

Wallace and Gromit make their feature-film debut in The Curse of the Were-Rabbit, a clever and funny little film, suitable for all ages. (If you haven't seen Nick Park's Wallace and Gromit shorts, all three films are available together on DVD and they are well worth watching, over and over again.)

In The Curse of the Were-Rabbit, Wallace (Peter Sallis) and Gromit are the owner-operators of Anti-Pesto, a humane pest control company. When we join the action, the town is preparing for the annual Giant Vegetable compettition, hosted by Lady Tottington (Helena Bonham-Carter). While Anti-Pesto has no trouble dealing with regular rabbits, a monstrous rabbit who feeds by moonlight poses a bit more trouble. Will Anti-Pesto be able to tame the beast or will Lady Tottington be forced to turn to her suitor and avid hunter, Victor Quartermaine (Ralph Finnes)?

Like Burton's Corpse Bride, The Curse of the Were-Rabbit is filmed using stop-motion animation techniques. (If you look closely, you'll see fingerprints on the figures.) The film took five years to make and many of the figures were recently lost in a warehouse fire.

Typical of the best family films, The Curse of the Were-Rabbit has humour aimed at children and at their parents -- many of the funniest jokes for adults are names or written cues with double meanings and nods to classic flims. Children enjoy the physical humour which is most evident through Gromit, Wallace's dog who does not speak.

Highly recommended.

Buy Wallace and Gromit in Three Great Adventures.

War of the Worlds (New York Reveiw of Books, 2005)

2005-10-09T21:07:00.000-07:00

The colourful cover of this book is deceptive. Inside the bright magenta and green cover crawling with spindly-legged aliens is H.G. Wells classic speculative invasion tale The War of the Worlds with drawings by Edward Gorey. In fact, Gorey is also responsible for the cover art -- but not the colour. Gorey created the pen and ink drawings to accompany Wells text in 1960 for the Looking Glass Library; the edition has been out of print for nearly 50 years and now reissued by the New York Review of Books.

War of the Worlds has been thrilling readers, listeners and audiences for over a hundred years (the first edition was published in 1898) and more than once has incited riots when mistaken for actual events. Whether or not you saw the Spielberg-Cruise summer blockbuster based on the book, if you haven't read Wells original text, you may be surprised by the suspense; Gorey's eerie organic drawings add a distinct otherworldly touch and the two combine for a very satisfying read.

***

Buy The War of the Worlds in hardcover
Pre-order War of the Worlds on DVD (to be released November 22, 2005)

Serenity (Fox 2005)

2005-10-06T22:05:00.000-07:00

Are you sick of Star Trek? The noble future fully of sappy altruism? The captain at the center of it all, sending red shirts to the surface to die? How about the regrettable Star Wars franchise with its senate chamber full of boredom? Well, hello Firefly! The short lived TV series (14 episodes—- 11 aired) is set in 2540’s in a future that looks more like Blade Runner set on fast forward. Earth was ruined by some unspecified catastrophe (knowing humans, it was probably a self-inflicted wound). The people fled to another star system rich in habitable planets where they terraformed many of these worlds. Some are beacons of technology and sophistication. Some are desolate outposts. The crew of the cargo ship Serenity ply those lonely, lawless outer worlds.

The crux of the Serenity movie is the mystery of River Tam (Summer Glau): a teenager who was surgically altered and conditioned to become a psychic and a super weapon. Her brother, a brilliant surgeon rescued her from the government forces who were altering River and used the Serenity for passage. From that moment on, the Serenity was the target of bounty hunters, government forces and elite special agents. River starts to exhibit some very peculiar talents and Serenity’s captain Mal Reynolds (Nathan Fillion), starts to dig to get to the answers: What did they do to River? What is she hiding?

To satisfy fans with questions and novices who have sat down to munch popcorn and watch the movie, Serenity answers a lot of questions. The fate of Earth. How did River’s brother spring her from captivity. How the Reavers came about. And, what happened to the crew after the final episode of the TV series. In many ways, this is episode 15 with a big boost in budget and a lack of standards-and-practices weasels censoring good TV. Just as the TV series had a strong vibe from Joss Whedon (Toy Story, Buffy the Vampire Slayer), this movie is the same. After such a choking diet of political correctness from the Star Trek franchise, Serenity is very welcome. The crew talk about offing River. They shoot people who they don’t like (and do so with little angst). Sometimes they don’t listen to the captain. Sometimes the captain acts like a coward. It feels like a real ship that had to fit into a real future. Best of all—and I cannot believe I am saying this—is the Western feel of the show. Holsters, six-shooters, dusty towns ripe for holdups. All of the stuff that seem incongruous with spaceships and high tech, but it actually works. We can’t predict the future. Every time I’ve seen Star Trek and others shows set in the future, I’ve said, “I don’t know what the future will look like but it won’t look like this.” Will it look like the Wild West? Probably not. Nevertheless, it looks good and it has an internal consistency.

To sum up: Serenity is a great movie. Unlike many movies, it actually put me on a roller coaster. It was tense. I laughed, I cried, it became a part of me. This was all because, for the first time in a long time, I couldn’t outguess the plot. Based on the tradition of the Western, Whedon did telegraph doom for the crew but like so many things, the plot takes an unpredictable course that makes this movie worthwhile—even if you’re not a Firefly fan.

Buy the Firefly Series on DVD

Enchantment (Del Rey, 2001)

2005-09-30T07:12:00.000-07:00

Orson Scott Card is well-known for writing science fiction (e.g. the Ender series) and fantasy (e.g. the Alvin Maker series); Enchantment falls in the latter category. As a young man, Ivan lived in Russia but was later uprooted, ultimately moving to America. He studied ancient Russian languages like his father but felt little connection to his roots. So when Ivan decides to return to his homeland, most people are surprised.

During a run, Ivan finds himself staring at what appears to be Sleeping Beauty and he finds himself drawn back to the spot time and again though he feels it must be his imagination. What follows is an imaginitive look at how Medieval Russia differed from the history books; how easy it would be for Ivan to change the course of history; and how two people forced together must make the best of the situation. The villain in the story is none other than Baba Yaga, famous throughout Russian folklore. Eventually, the time-crossed pair must escape to Ivan's time and the reader is able to see the modern world through Medieval eyes.

The story works on many levels -- it is a romance, it is a fantasy, it has comic moments and tragic. It is one of those stories which takes a while to get into but is difficult to put down once the action starts. I highly recommend this novel to anyone interested -- even slightly -- in folklore, time travel, or good old-fashioned storytelling.

Buy Enchantment in paperback.

Corpse Bride (Warner Bros. 2005)

2005-09-21T08:03:00.000-07:00

In a dark, near-monochrome world of carriages, corsets, family fortunes and fishmongers, Victor Van Dort (Johnny Depp), has been promised to Victoria (Emily Watson), daughter of the now penniless Lord and Lady Everglot. On the eve of their wedding rehersal, Victor is exceptionally nervous and after a particularly embarassing faux pas he runs for the hills in disgrace. He gathers his resolve in the middle of the forest and begins to recite his vows, placing the ring on a twig. Only problem is that the twig is the skeletal arm of the once-jilted Emily (Helena Bonham Carter): the Corpse Bride.

What follows is a typical (if darkly twisted) farce with zippy musical numbers and enough eye candy to keep your brain busy for the full 76-minute runtime. If zombie corpses, talking maggots and animated skeletons are not your cup of tea, you might want to check the other films at your local cineplex. Luckily, for those of us who carry Nightmare Before Christmas lunchboxes, own copies of Edward Gorey's books and decorate their homes with reproductions of Jose Guadalupe Posada prints, this film exists.

The Corpse Bride, based on a Russian folktale, marks Tim Burton's return to stop-motion animation. Scale and artistic abilities aside, this film uses technology which is widely available: Apple's Final Cut Pro and Canon digital SLR cameras. While the details of Corpse Bride are not quite as rich and varied as Nightmare Before Christmas, they still exceed the detail of many live-action films.

Burton fans will recognize many of his usual cast of collaborators -- Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, Albert Finney and Christopher Lee have all starred in multiple Burton films and Danny Elfman has been musically interpreting Burton's visions since 1985's Pee Wee's Big Adventure. Fans will also notice many nods to Burton's own films and those of his inspirations -- the piano Victor plays is a "Harry Hausen" and the first musical number in the world of the dead is clearly an homage to the very first of Disney's Silly Symphonies, The Skeleton Dance (1929).

In the end, if you are already a Burton fan going into the theatre, the Corpse Bride will not disappoint; on the other hand, I doubt it will win Burton a wider audience.

Every Burton fan should own Nightmare Before Christmas
You might also like Edward Gorey's Amphigorey
Check out Viva la Muerte, a collection of Posada lithographs

Proof (Miramax, 2005)

2005-09-15T07:57:00.000-07:00

Robert (Anthony Hopkins), a brilliant mathematician, is rightfully proud when his daughter Catherine (Gwenyth Paltrow) chooses to follow in his footsteps. When his health declines, she drops out of school to care for him and to continue her own research by his side. After his death, she tries to come to grips with her possible inheritance: his insanity.

The latest in a string of aren't-mathematicians-crazy/reclusive tales out of Hollywood (see also: Good Will Hunting, Pi, A Beautiful Mind), does not stray too far from the path. Paltrow gives another award-worthy performance, and she is well-supported by Hopkins and Jake Gyllenhaal as Hal, a grad student who is convinced Robert was working on something brilliant in his latter years.

The fact that Proof was adapted from a stage play should not surprise any viewer -- the dialogue is still quite theatrical at times. I was pleased that the creative team allowed Paltrow to look plain instead of stereotypically bookish, but I do wish someone had given directions other than "If you want to seem crazy, yell louder."

On the other hand, the movie is entertaining; there are some very funny exchanges between Catherine and Hal, some very touching father-daughter moments, and lots of frustrations and revelations in between. Proof doesn't require a knowledge of advanced mathematics -- the only in-joke is explained -- and it doesn't focus on the work itself. Instead the focus is on the people and the work they do and the way mental illness touches a family. Like Broken Flowers, Proof is aimed at an adult audience -- not the adults who expect bawdy humour or gory violence, but the adults who can appreciate watching people interact and show emotion.

Buy the original play by David Auburn.

--Cheryl

Worst Jobs In History (Spire/Channel4, 2004)

2005-09-05T14:04:00.000-07:00

Tony Robinson, perhaps best known for his role as Baldrick in the Blackadder Series, hosts this vivid series about some truly awful jobs throughout Britain's history from the Roman and Anglo-Saxon times through to the Victorian Age.

Most of the jobs which Robinson highlights in the Worst Jobs in History are either smelly and dirty or put the worker directly in harms way either through risk of death or injury or risk of disease. Consider for example the wode dyer, responsible for dying wool and cloth with wode to produce a deep indigo colour. The problem (aside from blue hands) was the stench of the wode as it was steeping; the smell was so strong that Queen Elizabeth decreed the dyers could not live within 5 miles of any royal residence.

Robinson draws the viewer in by actually performing some of the jobs himself, or at least parts of the jobs, and describing the smell of some of the stinkiest jobs in great detail. Along the way the viewer not only learns about the social history of the British people but also the origin of words and phrases like "toady" and "pin money" which survive today.

Some of the jobs are also a bit grizzly (executioner, violin-string maker, mill-scavenger) and parental discretion may be in order. Otherwise, the series is highly recommended for older children (over 12) and adults.

Buy the book: Worst Jobs In History: The Most Unenviable Jobs Of The Last Two Thousand Years

The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra (Tristar Films, 2001)

2005-09-05T12:24:00.000-07:00

As I was growing up, local TV stations put all of these great, crappy B-movies: It The Living Colossus; I Married A Monster From Outer Space; War of the Gaurgantuas; the list goes on and on. I really miss those movies. In 2004, a troupe of actors banded together and made an ulta low budget homage to those movies: The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra.
In the plot, a scientist and his wife go into the mountains to search out a meteorite that has is "lousy with atomosphereum"-- super powered and revolutionary new material. In the mountains, a space ship from the planet Marva crashlands. It's occupants, Lattice and Crowbar, have to find some atomosphereum and effect repairs. That's not the worst of their problems. Their mutant has gone missing and means its going to paint a murderous path through the lowly earthmen.
Also in the mountain is a mad scientist, Dr. Richard Fleming. His goal: find the Lost Skeleton of Cadavra. The Skeleton is a haunted set of bones in a lost cave. For Fleming to reanimate the skeleton he needs-- you guessed it-- atomosphereum.
These different parties meet up and try to connive their way into posessing the atomosphereum meteorite. Add to this "basic" plot Flemings, minion, Animala: a woman dressed like a beatnik who has been made from forest animals. This movie is over the top camp. It looks like its been shot with $50 in props. The dialogue is purposefully worse than the product of Ed Wood's pen. Raiders of the Lost Ark did the 1940s serials better than they could have ever been done. In the same way, The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra, does the B-movies better than they could have done them. If you dread B-movies, you will likely choke on this piece of gold. Otherwise, seek it out. It's worth the search.

Haroun and the Sea of Stories (Granta, 1991)

2005-09-04T22:49:00.000-07:00

If there is a cannon for books one should read to their children, Salman Rushie's Haroun and the Sea Of Stories should certainly be on the list. I first encountered this book as an audio book and later picked up a paperback edition; both are worth having though the audio book (read by Rushdie himself) is currently out of print.

The story is set in the mythical land of Alifbay where Haroun's father is a renowned storyteller whose stories suddenly dry up one day. As Haroun tries to fix the problem, he travels to the Sea of Stories where something very sinister indeed is underway.

Rushdie's chatty narrative is perfectly suited to this tale of storytellers and their sources. He weaves quirky characters (like water genies, flying mechanical birds, and armies arranged like libraries) and odd details (like P2C2Es also known as "Processes Too Complicated To Explain") into an unforgettable tale of one boy's journey to not only help his father but also restore his own faith in his father's gift. The writing manages to be contemporary and timeless at the same time and readers should not be surprised to find themselves laughing out loud.

Buy Haroun and the Sea of Stories.

Bugs of British Columbia (Lone Pine Publishing, 2001)

2005-09-04T22:20:00.000-07:00

Like other Lone Pine Field Guides, Bugs of British Columbia is visually stunning and packed with useful information. Self-proclaimed "bugster" and "nature nut" John Acorn presents British Columbia's 125 "coolest" bugs -- colourful, weird, or hard to miss -- accompanied by detailed paintings by Ian Sheldon.

Each bug is showcased on a single page with a painting and short text write-up; the bugs are collected in like groups: moths, butterflies, beetles and so forth with colour-coded page tabs for easy reference. Whether you consider yourself a "bugster" or you just want to identify the creepy-crawly thing in your backyard, this is a great book to have on hand.

Recommended reference book for all ages.

Other Lone Pine Guides:
Buy Bugs of Washington and Oregon
Buy Bugs of Alberta
Buy Butterflies of Alberta
Buy Bugs of Northern California
Buy Bugs of Ontario

The Adventures of Shark Boy and Lava Girl in 3D (Dimension Films, 2005)

2005-09-04T20:32:00.000-07:00

In the world of make believe, a boy (Taylor Lautner) is raised by sharks. He grows gills, razor teeth, a fin out of his back. Lavagirl (Taylor Dooley) is borne of Lava and the volcanoes. They are both the creation of an imaginative introverted boy, Max (Cayden Boyd). Along with Sharkboy and Lavagirl, Max has invented a whole world—planet Drool; the Land of Milk and Cookies; the villain Mr. Electric (George Lopez)—much to the chagrin of his teacher (the alter-ego of George Lopez); and his parents (David Arquette and Kristin Davis); and his schoolmates. Max keeps all of his imaginings in a little notebook. When the school bully steals Max’s book, he is crushed. Sharkboy and Lavagirl come to the rescue. They need that book of dreams for them to exist. From there, we are launched into the dizzying world of 3-D.The movie is almost wholly digital and CGI. Virtually every shot has CGI and 70% of the movie takes place on the other side of cardboard 3-D glasses. It doesn’t look good. Rodriguez has a flare for color. His Spykids movies are brilliant bursts on the screen. Sin City has gouts of color. 3-D needs to make half of the things blue; and half of the things red. Every other color is a square peg in a round hole. The end result is a washed out grey that occasionally flies out from the screen. It’s a gimmick that makes a weak movie weaker.
Kids are imaginative. Kids are great. Kids are full of wonder. Should they pen screenplays or plots for big budget Hollywood features? No. No, they shouldn’t. I am confident that Rodriguez’ progeny, Racer, could become a talented filmmakers in his own right: he gets to learn at the feet of one of the best directors alive. But he’s not there yet. Sharkboy and Lavagirl is the polar opposite of Sin City. While Sin City is dark, purposely repugnant, gory, forced into the two dimensional world of comics books but ultimately fascinating. Sharkboy is cotton candy bright, syrupy sweet and tricks its way into the third dimension. Worst of all: it’s a boring exercise in wish fulfillment, coming from the “Maybe it was all a dream” school of story writing.
Enough about my opinion: this was movie made by adults from a child’s imagination. How does a child feel about this movie? I took my four-year old. So far, she has been a good indicator of the staying power of a film. Finding Nemo (from two years ago), she quotes ad infinitum. The Incredibles from 2004 is still near and dear. Sharkboy, the most recent movie she has seen of the three is a forgotten puff of smoke and light.

Buy Shark Boy and Lava Girl on DVD

Revenge of the Sith (20th Century Fox, 2005)

2005-09-04T20:12:00.000-07:00

Twenty-eight years ago, Hollywood was sent reeling. After decades of sci-fi being schlock for kiddies; or depressing dystopian futures; George Lucas brought out something new from many old ingredients. Star Wars spawned three movies; then Lucas returned to the galaxy far far away to present prequels and stitch a past to his landmark 1977 film. Revenge Of The Sith follows two movies set in the hey-day of the Galactic Republic. Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christiansen) has grown from a slave boy to brooding Jedi Knight prophesied to be the Chosen One in the battle of the light vs. dark. The Galactic Republic is in the latter stages of a galactic civil war. Anakin with his master and teacher Obi-Wan (Ewan McGregor) are part of the elite Jedi, leading waves of clone troopers to counter the separatist forces. Behind the scenes, a Sith Lord Darth Sidious (Iain McDiarmid) is manipulating both sides of the conflict. In the guise of Emperor Palpatine, he is also mentoring Anakin; fermenting a distrust of the Jedi in their star pupil. Events unfold and Anakin falls to the Dark Side. He becomes Darth Vader. He and Obi-Wan fight a pitched battle and Vader suffers the crippling, disfiguring fate that we’ve been curious to see since 1977.
This is the pay-off of the prequel trilogy, if not the whole series. Is it the best of the series? No. But it is really a strong outing. Best of all, it’s dark. At the beginning of Star Wars the Empire is in control; the Jedi are all but extinct; Vader was bested by his mentor, Obi-wan. We know that by the end of Revenge Of The Sith all of this has to be set up. We’re prepped for the bad news in an almost masochistic way. In many ways, the first two prequels were just teasers and this is what we wanted to see all along.
Where does this movie fall down? Dialogue. After the blind luck of passable dialogue in Star Wars, the words from the actors went downhill. Lucas co-wrote the other screenplays and you can tell that the comparably strong dialogue came from the likes of Lawrence Kasdan and Leigh Brackett. When Vader meets his fate, he cries, “I hate you!” to Obi-wan with the same gravity and tone that comes from a five year old denied a new matchbox car.
I think what I got from this movie were the subversive themes that background the plot like a tyrannosaurus behind a pack of raptors. When Yoda and Mace Windu (Samuel L. Jackson) talk about the prophecy that the Chosen One will bring order to Force, I thought: Why do that? There are hundreds—thousands-- of Jedi and two Sith Lords. That’s the kind of imbalance people strive to be on the winning side of. Well, they get their wish. I enjoyed the “pride goeth before a fall” aspect of the Jedi council who try to shape the fate the Republic and bristle when their absolute power is questioned. Kudos go to Jackson for presenting cool and ferocity in almost the same moment.
When you tell a fairy tale to a four year old, they’ll sometimes ask, “And then what happened? Then what happened?” You keep telling the tale and filling in the blanks. At the end of the Revenge of the Sith, I left the theatre sated. The fairy tale that happened once upon a time in a galaxy far far away is done.

Buy Revenge of the Sith on DVD

Madagascar (Dreamworks, 2005)

2005-09-04T19:44:00.000-07:00

When Marty, a zebra who lives in the Central Park Zoo turns 10, he decides to head for the wild by taking the train to Conneticut. When his three friends (a lion, a giraffe and a hippo) go after him they all end up in crates bound for Kenya but land on the island of Madagascar instead.

Madagascar is a typical animated kids' movie with a group of friends who get split up but rejoin to battle a common foe. Like most modern kids' movies, Madagascar is also jam-packed with pop culture references for the grown-ups in the audience, though the gags here are average at best. The exaggerated antics of four pampered, city-bred animals are certain to please the younger audience members.

The Madagascar soundtrack features some pretty typical songs meant to evoke other movies and keep the adults in the audience happy -- Louis Armstrong's What a Wonderful World (as used in Stand By Me), Vangelis' Chariots of Fire main theme, and the Bee Gee's iconic Stayin' Alive (from Saturday Night Fever). The best song on the soundtrack is also the best musical moment in the movie -- Sacha Baron Cohen's cover of I Like to Move it Move it which had all the kids around me wiggling in their seats. The producers also selected the track to run over the credits when I was once again surrounded by dancing toddlers.

Recommended for young children (10 and under).

Buy Madagascar on DVD (available November 2005).
Buy the Madagascar Soundtrack on CD.