X Saves the World by Jeff Gordinier (Viking Press 2008)

Jeff Gordinier is unflinching in X Saves the World: How Generation X Got the Shaft but Can Skill Keep Everything from Sucking. The book is as much a call to action for Generation X as it is a rant about the generations between which it is sandwiched -- the ubiquitous Boomers and the up-and-coming Millennials (aka Generation Y).

Gordinier echoes demographers' arguments about the parameters of Generation X while adding another level by suggesting, via Douglas Coupland, that Generation X is as much a mindset as a birthdate. He is also careful to admit that he is making broad generalizations throughout the book and that being born during a given year does not automatically make one fall into step with everyone else born that year.

That said, no matter how you slice the Gen X pie, I fall squarely into the demographic both by birth and by attitude. I'm not sure how non-Xers would react to this book; likely call us all whiners and write it off as more gloom but the crazy thing is, there's a lot of hope in this book. It feels a lot like the end of V for Vendetta; I won't spoil the ending but I left the theatre feeling an overwhelming sense that change -- real change -- was achievable.

There were sections I skimmed -- personally, I could care less about Nirvana but Gordinier hangs an awful lot of his book on the impact of both "Smells Like Teen Spirit" and also on Kurt Cobain's suicide. I also skimmed Gordinier's take on the Poetry Bus -- something I had never heard of prior to this book and will not bother to research further.

On the other hand, I reveled in his descriptions of the internet boom and bust, about the movies and the directors who speak for and to our generation, and about Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart who brought Generation X's brand of subversive humour to the main stage.

Throughout X Saves the World, I found myself laughing ("By 1999 a fecal tide of suckitude, suckness, and suckronicity was upon us..."¹), nodding (oh, yeah, I have definitely encountered the "grey ceiling"), and making note of suggested ways I could help keep my world from sucking.

****

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¹ Introduction, p. xxiv

Clone Wars: My take on the latest from a Galaxy Far Far Away

I thought I could super-spoiler the Clone Wars movie or I could do a review. I did both.
Clone Wars is aimed at the Kiddie Set. Instead of the scroll that we've seen at least six times before (several video games in the license have used this too), we get a cheezy news reel narration. Instead of subtitling Jabba, people react and his protocol droid occasionally steps in. Rather than aim for the kid-lit crowd, Clone Wars aims for pre-lit crowd. While all of theSepartist gizmos (robots, vehicles, weapons) are on parade; the Republic side is sparse: Clone Troopers, Navy, a few Jedi and Padme for good measure. A nice small cast that even a six-year old could remember (that's handy for when they go intoToys'R'Us the next day). There is a real video game feel to this movie. It feels like you have a bunch of challenges to overcome: some fighting based, some logic based. If a video game isn't imminent, it could be knocked off in a weekend by pulling CGI models, clips for cut sequences and a couple of light saber shaped health meters. At times, I think I saw my score climbing as I watched the film.

The fight scenes are amazing-- on par with any of the movies. The movie is high on action, low on plodding political intrigue. The movie feels like the 2-D TV series of shorts, popped into the third dimension-- almost like thatSimpsons Halloween episode where Homer gets pulled into the third dimension. In an interesting budget-saving device: holograms are used very frequently. I have to think that is for economy: why render a character in all of their shades, when you can just draw them in shades of blue. While the foreground characters have that animation detail doled on them, background characters look like they're just being dragged across the background by some intern who thinks his days at Skywalker Ranch are numbered.

The soundtrack of Star Wars is memorable. My daughter hums the Imperial March. The symphonic feel of the music is gone. Tiny snippets of John Williams-esque music can be heard. In its place, the drum, string, flute melodies that are close to the incidental music from the Battlestar Galactica TV series. As this is not a Fox joint, but a Warner Brothers release: I have to wonder what was tied up in legal tangles and could not be moved out from the clenches of Rupert Murdoch.

Almost the whole voice cast are animation people or up-and-coming actors. Samuel L. Jackson and Christopher Lee voice Mace Windu and Dooku respectively (keep getting thosepaycheques, boys). Ahsoka Tano is voiced by Ashley Eckstein who fits the voice to the role. She has that aggravating quality that kids will find endearing. What is "fun" (I cannot believe I am about to write this): the troopers are extra New Zealand-y. BecauseJango Fett was originally voiced by Temuera Morrison, Clone Troopers have that accent-- I was expecting them to say, "Load up the Lorry, we're off to the beach, mates!" It worked. You can tell that the Troopers get bored on those trips through hyperspace; and they're tired of saying "No, I'm Trooper-3263827-- you're thinking of Trooper-03003817659." They're all sporting different haircuts (colors and styles)-- again a nice touch-- as a clone with 10,000,000 copies of me wandering around I would like likely try to make myself look a little unique.

All-in-all: this movie is for the pre-teen set, die-hard super obsessed fans and people who like decent animation. Please park yourstormtrooper outfit at the door-- you won't be able to sit down and you'll delay the start of the movie, you geek.

Clone Wars : The Plot in all its Spoiler Glory

Highlight to read: almost all of this post is a spoiler:

The film opens with the familiar "Long Time Ago... In a Galaxy Far Far Away..." and then jumps into the action: a montage of the Clone Troopers battling the Separatists. It turns out that the Outer Rim territories where the Kamino cloning facilities where is cut off from the Republic, so there is a shortage of Troopers. TheHutt clan (led by Jabba the Hutt) controls the shipping in the Outer Rim. Someone has kidnapped the Hutt's son. Jabba The Hutt makes a plea to Chancellor Palpatine for aid-- somehow a giant slug at the rim of the galaxy has the leader of a trillion people on speed-dial. Palpatine ask Mace Windu and Yoda for help. As luck would have it, they have two Jedi available: Obi-wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker. They are on the planet "Christophsis" having won out against the robot armies-- but communications have been broken. They relay a message to a Republic fleet at a staging area. In a geek-treat moment, we get to see Republic Navy officers-- somewhere on the evolutionary path towards the Imperial Navy. It turns out that Christophsis has not been secured. Anakin and Obi-wan need to lead their diminishing number of troopers vs. the robots. The droids are led by Whorm Loathsom, who looks the love child of Watto and a tusked-boar. A great battle ensues with heavy casualties on both sides. The robots fall back in time for a Republic transport to land and deposit a special messenger, a young Torgruta girl, Asoka Tano. It turns out she is an apprentice-- a padawan-- for Anakin Skywalker. The Jedi council decided that the irreverent Asoka is a match for the irreverent Skywalker. The robot army has fallen back to deploy a massive shield-- an expanding hemisphere that keeps the droids safe at they advance. Skywalker hatches a genius plan. He and Asoka hide under a box in the path of the force field. When the army and field overtake then, they are safely behind enemy lines. While on her first day on the job, she and Skywalker sneak to the shield generator. They plant explosives. They trigger a number of barrel like droids that battle the two Jedi. In a page from Buster Keaton, Asoka uses the force to bring down a wall on the droids surrounding Anakin, leaving him safe in the hole in the wall. Meanwhile, back at the battle, the troopers have been picked off. Kenobi is surrounded and surrenders. He tricks Whorm Loathsom into negotiating the terms of the Republic surrender. This a ploy to kill time so that Anakin and Asoka can bring down the shield and luckily so that Yoda and re-enforcements can arrive. Almost instantly, they start using nicknames for one another: "Snips" and "Skyguy" (guess which is which).

Yoda instructs Anakin and Asoka to find and rescue the Huttling. Kenobi goes to bargain with Jabba the Hutt. Rotta the Hutt is held by Asajj Ventress, pupil of Dooku. Whoever designed Ventress for this film came off of an Angelina Jolie binge (bee-sting lips, sultry voice). I was expecting Ventress to admit that this wasn't a kidnapping, but a botched adoption, then try to adopt Asoka. She is holed-up on PlanetTeff in a Bohmarr Monastery (man, I bet those walking hookas are regretting never getting door-lock or firearm technology perfected-- it seems like everyone loves to take them over and move in). Helping her is an assortment of droids and a weaselly droid, 4A-7. The Republic forces go to Teff. The monastery is high on a butte; so the Jedi and troopers have to mount a vertical assault-- it makes for a great visual. The droids-- largely B1 droids-- are defaulting the monastery courtyard. They are amazingly stupid-- almost Jar-Jar stupid. At the top, Anakin mows down most of the remaining droids and leaves the troopers to mop up. 4A-7 comes out and feigns gratitude for the rescue. Anakin and Asoka go into the monastery to the detention level [a) Why does a monastery have a detention level? Do people pepper their quiet contemplation with assault and battery? b) I want a detention level!]; they know it's a trap. They dispatch some very dumb B1 droids and make it to the cell where Hutt's baby boy, Rotta. I was thinking this would be a douche-bag heir apparent of Jabba. Instead, it's an infant: a bowling ball with arms, a tail and a maw. Rotta is sick, adding to the urgency of getting him back to his parents-- of course I say "parents" but in sci-fi tradition, there is no sign of Momma the Hutt-- underlining that popular premise that females are there to be dying mothers, spunky hard-to-get-girlfriends or marketing ploys. For Ventress and Dooku, this is all part of the trap. They want to frame the Jedi for the death of Rotta. The droid army springs out of hiding (how is it that the security staff on my way in to see this movie could scan me for the presence of a camera; but the Republic forces cannot scan a planet for robots?) and attack the Clone Troopers. Anakin, R2 and Asoka find a way down to a secret launch pad. Once down there, Ventress pounces on them and the droids attack. They need to escape, but they don't have a ride. Beneath the landing pad is a nest of giant 10 meter long dragon-fly-type insects. Asoka spies a ship on a nearby landing pad on another butte. I hit X-A-X Anakin and Asoka hitch a ride from one of these insects, while R2 jets behind them. They get to the other landing pad. 4A-7 is there loading his ship for departure with the help of some B1 droids. All of the robots are deactivated with extreme prejudice. Anakin tries to get the ship ready to go. Reinforcements have arrived just in time again. Kenobi goes into the monastery in search of Ventress. The two of them get into a pitched light saber battle (yawn). As this movie is the kick-off for the TV-series; and Return of the Sith showed Dooku sans Ventress, the writing is on the wall. Someone has to be the bad guy-- er, girl-- for the TV series and eventually die-- but not today. She escapes in the nick of time (she'll be back.... she'll be back...).

Senator Amidala comes into the Chancellor's office to discover that Anakin will be doomed if the Hutts think the Jedi betrayed them. She asks to plead with Jabba directly and Palpatine is against the idea. She suggests that she talks to Ziro TheHutt who live in Coruscant (in the "Old Town" sector-- on a city that covers a whole planet, what is that? Is Old Town the size of Europe?). She goes down to this place that looks like a speakeasy-- with a Thith band doing Swing music. Ziro: he's sort of a cross between Jabba theHutt and Truman Capote, with body tattoos compliments of Prince. Amidala pleads her case and Ziro promises to take it to Jabba. Before she leaves, she spots that one of Ziro's droids is armed with a B1 issue blaster. She dashes back to Ziro's room to overhear theHutt and Dooku (who is popping in via hologram) scheme to kill Jabba the Hutt , kill Amidala and let Ziro take over control of the Hutts (--Fab-Ulous!--). She is taken prisoner. B1 droids (aka the "Jar-Jar-Droid" line) trigger here hologram and up pops C-3PO. She calls for his help. Later, near the climax of the story, C-3PO and a squad of Clone Troopers rescue Amidala and capture Ziro.

Anakin and company get their Spice freighter jalopy on course for Tatooine (two questions here: Do people ship anything but Spice? How can Tatooine be a backwater but show up in six out of seven movies?). On Tattooine, Anakinet cetera are attacked by Dooku's droids. They make a crash landing and trek across the Dune Sea to Jabba's Palace. In the meantime, Dooku has whitewashed the Jedi involvement, convincing theHutt that the Jedi have already killed his son.

They formulate a cunning plan: Anakin with a Huttling sized backpack treks into the snare of Count Dooku. They get into a heated battle (if you've seen Revenge of the Sith, you know how this battle has to end). It turns out that the Jedi pulled a fast one. Asoka actually has the Huttling. She encounters three of Dooku's bodyguard droids and fights them. Somehow the plucky apprentice wins versus them. Anakin makes it to Jabba theHutt . He falls into the trap that Dooku has set up. A moment later, Asoka and the Huttling show up. The Hutts a re reunited. Jabba still wants to kill the Jedi (good idea-- Anakin's daughter will eventually do him in). Intervention by Amidala and a confessional Ziro (Fab-Ulous!) changes his viewpoint and he both sets the Jedi free and agrees to allow Republic access through his shipping lanes in the Outer Rim.

All ends well and I'm sure there are more adventures to come (wink wink).